We all made mistakes when it came to love, we all been blinded by love, we all made poor choices when it came to love but does that make us dumb? Does it make us less of a women? For years Karrueche, a women just like me have been attacked by the media and everyone across the world for being in Love with Chris Brown. Is she wrong for falling in love with him? Is she wrong with trusting him with her heart over and over again? Is she wrong for believing everything that he said he wouldn't do? No, she isn't wrong. She believed him, she trusted him and she loved him in hopes that he would be the man that she dreamed of spending the rest of her life with.
After watching Karrauche interview with Iyanla Vanzant, I felt her pain, I knew exactly how she was feeling. I've been there, is it somewhere that I thought I would ever be in? No, but I can admit that I believed things would change. For years I gave too many chances instead of walking away knowing my heart didn't deserve the pain it was feeling. Every time he F*cked up, left me in tears and came back with the "Baby, Iam Sorry", I believed him. As much as my heart was hurting, I believed he would change and never hurt me again. I trusted him, I believed that he loved me even after he put his hands on me, even after he would verbally abuse me, even after he cheated, I believed he would change. I wasn't stupid, I knew I deserved better than that but I was blinded by love and believed that one day he would change to the man that I would want him to be.
That's the issues with us women, when we love...WE LOVE HARD! I can't say all of us because they are some females when they are done, they are done but they are those that believe in second chances as well as having faith that things will get better. I loved him with all of me, he was a bad habit and as much as I tried leaving him, part of me truly believed he would change.
Karrauche met Chris Brown probably not thinking that she would end up with him for 4 years. She probably didn't think she would fall in love but she did, is she wrong for falling in love with him? No, we fall in love with people everyday. Do we regret falling in love with them when they turned out to be not the person we thought they were? At times yes, but that doesn't mean we are wrong for falling in love with them.
We live and we learn, we are humans and we can't help how we feel. I don't regret falling in love in the past because it showed me what I truly needed and deserved versus what I wanted. I call all my Exes Experiences because they all thought me something different which I will carry on throughout life and my relationships. I should of been a little smarter but I was naive. I knew my worth but having low self-esteem a few years ago made me believe that no one would accept me and love me for me.
I wanted to leave so many times and at times I wished I would of left from the very first time I felt that way but once again I believed that he would change to the man I wanted him to be. Karrueche probably felt the same way especially since she is in the public eye and we are all in on her relationship. She believed and she had hope but he just broke all of her promises one by one. I never judged her because I was once her and I probably make a few more mistakes in the future when it comes to love which doesn't mean Iam dumb. I believe people change but this time around I would know what to settle for and what to accept. I won't stay if things get physical or if I lose sense of my worth but I know what I deserve now more than I did back then.
Does she still love him? Yes, No questions asked but she realized enough is enough. It's but so much a person can take and what hurts is that the dreams of having a family with him is ruin because of him. He took her dreams and stepped on them without having care in the world. I believe Chris do love her but isn't the man for her, he isn't worthy of her love. This is why I always say " you're worthy of love but make sure that person is worthy of your love".
She isn't dumb, I was once her. She believed, I believed wishing and hoping that they would change. She is brave for sharing her story even if some people don't believe her but it was the first step of closure for her. I know some people wonder why I write about my Ex at times when I don't even care for him but all of the experiences and bullshit I went through with him is now my testimony. I went through hell and back with him and writing helps me but helps others not to do the same mistakes that I did. I don't talk to my EX and Iam very much in love now but I know the pain I went through can help someone not go through the same pain.
We all make mistakes, but we aren't dumb. Iam tired of seeing other females breaking other females down because they go back to their significant others after something happens. One thing I learned is that the person won't leave the situation until they are ready. You can't force someone to leave the situation they are in, when they are ready they will leave. If they want to go back a million times just be there for them.
For you My Confident Dolls, all I can say is KNOW YOUR WORTH and don't let anyone take advantage of you. Yes ppl make mistakes but if it's contantly to the point you are losing sense of who you are and the person is sabotaging your worth then I pray that you find the courage to leave one day. Karrauche fought and she prayed but she couldn't help him be the man that she needed and at times it will be that way.
If you feel it in your heart that it's over and you just want to move on, then do so. Don't lose time in making yourself happy, remember your happiness matters and there is someone praying for someone like you. It's ok if you were Karrauche at one point or at that point now, You Live & You Learn. You're not dumb, he is dumb for messing up a good thing.
A Confident Love From Me To You
Xoxo, Yanika
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