A Lesson Hurts Before It Teaches!

No pain last forever, I know that's the last thing you're thinking about especially when your heart feels as if it is beating out your chest. At this very moment you don't understand the pain you are feeling because you just want things to go back to being the same and for the pain to go away. 

My confident dolls, I've been there, I know how you feel. I remember there was a time I felt as if my heart was going to stop beating, the pain I felt was unbearable. The pain of a broken heart is the worst, I just wanted the pain to go away. I didn't understand why I had to go through this pain which is something we all wonder. We all ask "Why Me", not understanding that this is God plan at that very moment. I went through some sh*t where I almost took my own life away.  

People always say "it's never that serious" but when nothing else matters and you just want the pain to go away, the unthinkable will go through your mind. I never thought I was capable of picking up a knife one night and start cutting my arms up but I wanted the pain to go away. People can say what they want to say but you will never feel the pain I felt at that very second, I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone. 

The more sh*t I went  through, I started realizing that the pain that Iam feeling at that very moment won't last forever. The pain that Iam feeling today, I won't feel it a couple months from now but we don't think of it that way because we want the pain to go away the minute we feel it. 

We are not all perfect, we all go through things, we all feel pain, we all wish things can just be easy but it can't be that way. We have to go through sh*t for it to better us and for it to make us stronger. For every pain I felt, I learned a lesson from it. I understand now, God gives his strongest soldiers the toughest battles because he knows no matter how much you may complain, you will overcome them. 

You just have to believe and have Faith. The pain that you are feeling right now and the tears that seems as if they can't stop coming down your face, one day it will all make sense to you. Everything in life happens for a reason, the two minutes it took me to cut my arm up about 7/8 times it is at that very moment I knew I wanted to live for myself. It is at that very moment I knew my worth as well I knew I had so much more life to live. Now Iam not saying for you to do the same so you can understand certain things but take time to be patient so one day you can understand why you went through the pain you went through. It's a reason, trust me there is. 

Nothing we go through is just for fun, we go through it so it open up our eyes to the situation and know that better things will come. All the sh*t I went through and I didn't understand at that very moment, I am now thankful that I went through it and I went through the pain I went through. There's a lesson in the pain that you are feeling or in the pain the you felt. If you felt it and it doesn't make sense, give it time because in due time everything make sense. 

This is why now whenever I go through something, I just pray. Prayer heals all and prayer gives you strength so one day it will all come to you. I wish we all didn't face to go through things, I wish we can all live life with no pain or worries at all. That's not how things go, we have to go through things so we can learn from them. Everything and anything you go through there is a lesson to be learn, PAY ATTENTION & Always Know Your Worth. 

    A Confident Love From Me To You

                     Xoxo Yanika 

29....Confident & Blessed!...What Is Coming Is Better Than What Is Gone.

It's been 24 hours since I've been 29 years old and 24 hours since I said Good Bye to 28 years old. For once I think in the past 2 years or so I was excited mentally and emotionally for my birthday. The past 2 birthday I was scared and honestly I wasn't excited due to the fact I wasn't where I wanted to be in life. Last year turning 28 years old was kind of depressing for me and nobody except my mother knew that, physically  I was here but mentally I wasn't. I just wasn't ready especially because 2 and a half weeks prior the only thing that made me happy and that mattered to me was taken away. For those that don't know in 2013 the first version of my book " Confidence Is You" came out under a publishing company I was with and on January 1,2013 my book was no longer available for sale. What a birthday gift, I just felt so hopeless. At that time I was also unemployed and I just wasn't happy at all with the simple fact that I wasn't where I wanted to be in life. 

         ( Blessed To See 29 Years Old) 

One thing I did come to terms with is that nothing last forever, I was so worried about not being where I wanted to be in life that I didn't embrace the fact that God gave me a chance to see the beautiful age of 28 years old. I didn't trust him and I had no faith  in him that things in my life would eventually get better and greater things will come from the things I was going through. I remember celebrating my birthday at a lounge that night when I just wanted to be home but the night turned out to be a great night with my friends who came out to celebrate with me and having my love by my side but deep down inside I wasn't happy. For the next few weeks of me being  28 years old, I was lost. I just didn't know what my true purpose was in life, I felt that because of my book coming out and being unavailable in the matter of 8 months, I felt that maybe it wasn't what I was determined to do. It was a battle but I was determined to fight it and for once be patient and wait till God gave me the answers that I needed.  

                 (Bday Night Look) 

See one thing that we all do is that when we go through something it's hard to just stay focus and be patient until everything comes together. Who wants to just wait but at times the best thing to do is wait because good things matter of fact greater things comes to those who wait. So My confident dolls, have no worries, know in due time everything will be just fine. Just pray and be patient, DON'T GIVE UP! 

I was determined and slowly God started to lead me to my path. My book was something that I couldn't give up on, too many people depended on me. I did my research and I knew it was God giving me the sign to do it on my own, I was scared at first but I knew that I was capable of doing it. I found a publishing company that would only print out my books and I would be in charge of everything else. When I knew I was capable of doing it, I found the happiness I was searching for. I wanted the book to be bigger than what it was before, I wanted a new cover, more chapters and just a new energy to it and Guess what? I did and I made it happen. 

           ( Bday Day Look, 29 & Fine) 

See my confident dolls what I was stressing and worrying about, now is my Joy. This is why you can't give up and you have to keep on fighting any battle that you are facing because you will come though it, you will see a bright shining star at the end of it all. The devil is a liar and nothing/no one can stop what is meant for you. Once I held on to Faith, everything positive started happening for me. I now have a job that I am truly in love with and I have a brand as well as a book that I built and will continue to fight for. 

   ( My Students & I At My Bday Party) 

So for once as my birthday started to approach I was happy and I didn't feel an ounce  of what I felt for the past 2 years. I was in amazing place in my life, I was content. I may not be exactly where I want to be but I have everything I need. Just writing this blog and given the chance to wake up this morning was a gift and Iam truly thankful for it. For my birthday this year, i just wanted to wake up and Thank God for allowing me to see the age of 29 then go to work which I did and had a good day at work and then I just wanted to be with my love which I told him a few weeks prior when he asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday. 

        ( No Clue To where I was going)

For once I didn't want to do much, I wanted to do something simple. Everyone that knows me thought I was going crazy because I always do something for my birthday but not this year. I had no clue what my boyfriend had planned for us, it was a surprise. The only thing I was told was to be ready at 8pm which I was and when I got outside it was a car waiting to take me to my destination. He still didn't tell me where we were going  when we were in the car but I enjoyed it. When the car finally stopped, I got out and he held my hand as I took a few steps, it was a restaurant I always wanted to go to called "Don Coqui". We had an amazing dinner and well let me just say the night ended beautifully. He really put a smile on my face, it was simple but he made me happy and that's what mattered.

                      HE Is LOVE 

 Iam 29 years old now and Iam ready for what this age will bring me. It is the last year of my twenties and Iam going to make it a great one. I know it won't be perfect, I will face some difficulties but I learned that when you go through things it only makes you stronger. So whatever it is, I know that God will be by my side and I will overcome them. Nothing and no one can break me or stop what is meant for me. I know how to hold on to my Faith with all that I have and just trust God. 

So my Confident dolls, never give up. Even if you aren't where you want to be in life, keep fighting because one day you will be. Nothing comes easy, you have to truly fight for what you believe in. Don't let your age stop you, I thought turning 28 years old last year was turning 50 years old but not at all. You can achieve anything you put your mind into at any age. At 29 years old, I know this is only the beginning for me. I have a lot to achieve and I will keep on fighting. 

    A Confident Love From Me To You

                     Xoxo, Yanika 

2015 It's Going To Be A Cruel Summer....Confident In My Bikini

 Sunlight? Check! Sand? Check! Bikini? CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! I don’t know about you, but I am counting down the days for this winter chill to end and to finally flaunt my curves in the summer sun. A person can only wear layers for so long before it’s time to break out the bikini. Oh yes! I did say BIKINI! 2014 was just the beginning, times have changed and so have the unwritten rules and regulations.

  ( In Vegas Last Year Loving Who I Am)

 To all my Curvy Confident Dolls, this is YOUR year.  Summer will be here before we know it, and while we wait let us purchase our bikinis so that this summer we can step out Fiercely, Fabulously, and Fearlessly! Having confidence from the top of our heads, to the sway in our hips, and right down to the stride in every step we take.For my dolls having trouble finding the perfect bikini that will accentuate their curves, do not worry I got you covered. I recently posted via Instagram (@ConfidenceIsYou) two summer collections that will have you owning every beach, pool, & waterpark you go to.

 Curvaceous Style Blogger, Gabifresh’s Swim Sexy Bikini Collection incorporates vibrant prints, high waist cuts, and highly supportive but extremely sexy bustier tops. Carrying sizes 8-24 and featuring E/F bra cup sizes, every woman’s curves can rock Gabifresh’s Swim Sexy Bikini Collection.  Monif C’s Guyana Swimsuit Collection is for my Dolls who love a little Island Flavor. This collection incorporates bold colors, high waist cuts, supportive tops, and sexy slits!!! Yes Slits!!! The slits are the signature look to the collection. Daring and Sexy, women in this collection will definitely be turning heads. Let us not forget about Forever 21, who has been successfully catering to plus size woman. 

This year the swim collection incorporates many of its previous trends, however this year they are highlighting tribal prints, and I must say they are fabulous! The collection also features different cut bikini tops for my Dolls who want to switch it up. A wide variety of bikini options for you to dominate Summer 2015.

 

Three years ago you couldn’t dare me to wear a 2-piece bathing suit. My self-esteem wouldn’t allow me, I was scared of what people would say and the stares I would receive. I realized that in order for me to be happy & who I wanted to be I needed to be confident within myself (Hint: That’s when “Confidence Is You” was born). The comments & stares of others couldn’t break me; I had to be myself regardless. I wanted to go to the beach, walk up and down the sand with my big ass and be happy. That’s exactly what I did and will continue doing.

 

For my Dolls who are worried about being judged about their bikini, remember people will talk about you regardless so why worry about what they will say. You want to wear a bikini, head over to Swimsuitsforall, Monif C, Forever21, H&M, etc. and get yourself a bikini, put it on, and rock it being yourself; Happy and Confident! Like I wrote in the book, “Confidence is You,” (which is available for purchase NOW! Click the “Purchase my Book” Link on in the right taskbar)

 

“We limit ourselves as much to wearing what we want to wear that we allow others to outshine us, it shouldn’t be that way. We should shine like the diamonds we are, so don’t give a bathing suit a stare when all you want to do is wear it. Find one that compliments you and wear it.”

 

2015 is the year of the Bikini, don’t hesitate to put one on and flaunt it for the world to see. Be Confident. Be You. & Wear your bikini proudly! Remember Confidence Is YOU! IT'S GOING TO BE A CRUEL SUMMER 

     A Confident Love From Me To You

             Xoxo Yanika & Kayla 

Walk Alone Until God Sends Someone To Walk With You!

We all yearn for love not fulling knowing that we are worthy of love. You're single? If you are, that's fine. What's the rush? Oh I see you're tired of sleeping alone or is it because you're tired of being lonely on holidays or just any other day. Why are you in a rush to fall so deeply in love? Oh wait you see all of your friends in love so you wish you could have the same. Let me tell you before anything else you are worthy of being in love and worthy enough for love to find you. Never wish to have someone else's relationship because that person can be pretending to be happy. No relationship is perfect, some people play the part of being happy just to get a show. Can you just be patient until you get a relationship of your own and just get what you deserve from someone who is worthy of having you. 

Are you afraid to fall in love again due to your heart being broken in the past? Afraid to give your all to someone that will only use you and take advantage of you? If so, I know how you feel. I've been there before, it was hard for me to trust someone else with the most valuable thing of mines (My heart) but I prayed and I was patient until God sent someone who was worthy of healing my heart and taking the path of walking with me until I can love again. It took a very long time for me to trust him and to love him but I never stopped praying. What are you in a rush for? There is no need to be in a rush when it comes to love, it will come when the time is right. 

Don't feel as if you aren't worthy or you aren't beautiful enough to find someone to appreciate and love you for all of you. Iam telling you right now love doesn't come with a manual on how you are suppose to look, don't think because she is smaller than you with longer hair than you that's why she is in a relationship. Everyone deserves to be loved and to be in love. I use to feel that way, I use to think my weight is the reason why I couldn't find someone to be with me. I thought that for years especially when I would go out with my friends and guys will try to talk to them but not me. I felt ashamed and I  just knew I wasn't pretty enough to be loved by someone else. Once again I prayed and took that time to fall in love with myself even more than I did before.  NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOURSELF! 

Be patient, there is no need to rush for love to find you. It will find you when you least expect it. Finding someone worth waking up to is better than looking for someone to sleep with. Know your worth and knowing your worth is keeping your heart guided until someone can protect it and close your legs until that same person that can protect your heart deserves your pearl. 

Love is magical, and I want you to experience it with someone who sees your worth and will do anything to see you smile. It took a while for me to believe in love again, I was extremely broken but as I mentioned in previous blogs  post before my love now took his time (2 years ) to heal my heart by getting to know me and not rushing me to be in anything that I wasn't ready for. I prayed as he made me smile and I took my time until I was ready to give him my heart. A year and a half later he still makes me smile. We aren't perfect, we go through sh*t but our bond and love for one another is getting stronger each and everyday. 

God has someone designed just for you, at this very moment someone is praying for someone just like you. So don't think you aren't worth it because you are. Don't think you aren't pretty enough for someone to love you, you're beautiful! Stop thinking of all the negative reasons why you haven't found love yet and start thinking of all the great things why the person who finds you will fall in love with. You're amazing and I can't wait until you experience true love because you will. Confidence is love and confidence is you, love will find you, it's endless. 

 

   A Confident Love From Me To You

                        Xoxo, Yanika 

Fashionista Friday, A Fashion Diva With Ambition Featuring Bryndaisha!

Hello My Confident Dolls, Happy Friday! 

First Off let me begin with saying,  HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!! It's been a while since I posted a blog so it's only right I start it back up with Fashionista Friday. I debuted this topic to feature on the blog so I can showcase my ambition Dolls who are confident and fashionable as well. We all love fashion and always get inspired by others for new ideas. Today first Fashionista Friday of 2015 will be Bryndaisha , who I've been following on Instagram for awhile. Her style, beauty, and confidence truly graces my Instagram page every time she posts a picture. 

I wanted to more about her and know some of her fashion tips, favorite fashion wear and what are some of her favorite pieces to wear as well as how she balances it all in her life. Bryndaisha is a 26 years old born and partially raised in Harlem, NY but currently reside in Chester, PA. She loves shopping of course, singing, her best friend which her fiancé  & listening to poetry. Her personal style could best be described as BOLD AND LIMITLESS! She believes in rocking WHATEVER she wants  rather it be crop tops, skinny jeans etc. She goes with saying "ANYTHING CAN BE WORNED, IF ROCKED CORRECTLY" and I must agree. 

She love love love the way that fashion makes you feel. She love the feeling you get when you find a beautiful piece that you just have to have in your closet and the way it makes you feel once you actually put it on, I know we all love that feeling as well. There is nothing more fulfilling then shopping and getting dressed afterwards and looking good in your new clothes. She love the fact that with fashion the POSSIBILITIES ARE TRULY ENDLESS!  This is why I always say BE EXACTLY WHO YOU WANT TO BE, Fashion allows you to be that. 

Bryndaisha honestly shops at work during her lunch break of course, but the ASOS & forever21 apps are like her best friends and being as though she work a 9-5, she does a lot of dressing up on the weekends!  I asked her if she does anything specifically to incorporate her personal style into her career and she said No not necessarily, her primary wardrobe is also my work wear. 

There are so many trends out right now , so it's only right I found out what was Bryndaisha favorite trend out right now.  She is loving the fur trend. From fur collars to fur bags, fur boots and you just can't forget about the fur vest! Yes! You can't go wrong with fur. There are many out there who comes up with "Fashion Rules" for example you can't wear white after Labor Day, I say all of it is BS. Bryndaisha agrees also stating that she believes there are NO rules when it comes to fashion. If it looks and feels right, ROCK IT!! Just make sure that you OWN IT! Yes BE YOU, BE CONFIDENT! 

We all have our fashion go to item and we all have different places we shop. I know I shop where I find my style. Brundaisha current go to fashion item has to be the boyfriend trench coat that she recently got from ASOS! It's super comfy and adds so much style to just a typical outfit. Besides ASOS she does a lot of her shopping at forever21, boohoo, Amazon, Ashley Stewart and newlook.com. 

It's going to be a very cold but yet fashionable winter and Bryndaisha is definitely looking forward to adding the color oxblood to many of her outfits this winter. She love the color and she thinks it's just perfect this time of year!  The advice she would give someone who is trying to find their own personal style which most of us have a problem doing at times is to forget what you've heard, forget what you were told, put aside what your grandmother has told you about 'big girls' and fashion and wear what you want. As well as FREE YOURSELF from the opinions of others and wear whatever makes you happy. Most importantly don't be afraid to take risk, never know how good something might look unless you try it!

24 hours isn't enough to balance it all so how does Bryndaisha find time to balance love, fashion, her career and family  by trying to devote her time to whatever task she is dealing with at that time. When she is at work, I'm focused on her job duties. When she is at home she is the best fiancé a man could ever have but most importantly she is able to incorporate style in the entire process which is amazing. A true confident and ambition fashionista you are. Last but not least Confidence Is Me because 

"I believe in what I feel, I don't need anyone's validation to reassure me that I am beautiful or that what I feel is right.. I believe in the essence of liberation & I believe that my confidence truly liberates me!  No matter where I go, I always remember to carry my Confidence" . 

Thank You Bryndaisha for being more than a confident doll, Thank You for sharing your fashion tips and more, I adore. A HUGE congratulations to you and your Fiancé, I wish you guys nothing but THE BEST!!!!! (When I interviewed Bryndaisha her fiancé was her boyfriend just 3 weeks ago). I'll be at the wedding lol. I wish you the best Beautiful <3 

                     ( TRUE LOVE) 

     A Confident love from me to you

                     Xoxo, Yanika