Just Breathe

To: My CONFIDENT QUEENS


I wasn’t expecting to write a blog at this very moment but I felt as if God was telling me to do so after I wrote in my journal so here I am. 2019,WHAT A YEAR! I must say this year was a good year but it kicked my ass a few times. I know that life will never be perfect, we will all go through things that will “try” to break us. The reason why I say “try” is because in all reality nothing can break us. Whatever it is that you’re going through, just know in due time you will be ok. I get it, at first it doesn’t seem that way but everything I went through this year, only made me stronger. Every obstacle that I was faced with was a lesson to be learned. In the moment of course I was questioning God as in “ Why me?” But not only did God show me why he put me through it, he also taught me a lesson through it. 

You will go through shit but don’t don’t let it break you, learn from it and grow from it. I’m grateful for everything I went through in 2019, the good and the bad. I don’t have any regrets, the things I wanted to accomplish that I didn’t, it’s ok I will get it done in 2020. Don’t beat yourself up about things you had no control over  or didn’t get a chance to accomplish. As long as you didn’t give up, you’re fine! Life is too short to stress over every little thing. JUST BREATHE! Be thankful that you were allowed to see every single day of 2019, that itself is a blessing. We are all humans dealing with different things, none of us is perfect. Someone is probably reading this blog wishing that they had a car not knowing someone else could be reading this blog wishing they had a job not knowing the person who has the car doesn’t have a a job and Vice Versa so be thankful for it all. Regardless of anything, WE ARE ALL BLESSED!

I honestly feel that this year showed me that getting out my comfort zone is OK and to expect the best out of every situation that Iam dealt with. Things will happen in your life that won't make sense in the beginning but at the end of it all, you will understand why you went through it. Don't be afraid to grow and to blossom into the person that you are meant to be. Don't dwell on what happen, it already happened so move on. Don't feel bad for letting go of people that didn't appreciate you, it's their loss. Don't think it's too late to accomplish the things that you want, It's never too late. Don't think for a second you aren't worthy when in all reality you are  more than enough. You accomplish more than you could of even imagined in 2019 so be thankful for it all.



2020 is your year, CLAIM IT! Let's manifest everything our heart desires and get things done. Stop waiting and wishing to do what you want to do, just get up, do the work and get it done. I'm letting go of so many things in 2019 and one of them is SELF DOUBT. I know that God got me and there isn't one thing that I can't do. I know that I'm capable of doing it all as long as I do the work and the same goes for you. So for every goal that you set to achieve in 2020, remind yourself that you are going to get it done by any means necessary. I believe in you so believe in yourself! 

I survived a fire which was the hardest thing I had to deal with in 2019 but I'm thankful my family and I survived it. Here I am 2 weeks later writing this blog and closer to God that I've ever been. God will destroy to rebuild and some crisis you go through are intended to change you and despite losing everything ( materialistic things), I gained so much more which will guide me for the rest of my life. I honestly think God put me through that for a bigger purpose, I can't wait to fulfill my purpose and my testimony.



(Photo By @oooh_yess)



I wish you nothing but the best and may 2020 bring you noting but joy and peace. Know that you're worth it and you are capable of accomplishing it all. MANIFEST EVERYTHING YOUR HEART DESIRES, My Confident Queen CONFIDENCE IS YOU! 




                                        A Confident Love from Me to You
                                                       Xoxo, Yanika 

The Power Of Manifestation & Prayer Featuring Tarré Hayes

Do you believe in manifestation? Do you believe in praying for something and for it to actually come true? Well if you don’t, let me be the first to tell you The Power Of prayer and manifestation is REAL. I know at times I doubt myself but there isn’t nothing that I wanted which God didn’t bless me with. It probably wasn’t at the time that I wanted it but eventually he gave it to me when he knew I was ready for it. 

Since last year or so I started to feel stuck at my previous job, I love being an educator but I wanted more. I knew I needed to spread my wings, take a leap of faith and go for a career that was better for me. At times we stay in situations because we are comfortable or we are afraid that it won’t be better. I can admit I stayed at my job and giving myself excuses because I was comfortable, it was security and I felt that I wasn’t capable of finding anything in my field. I prayed but didn’t have faith, I Manifested what I wanted but didn’t do the work. In order to receive what you want, you must do the work. So fast forward to August 1, 2019 after months of making excuses, I got injured at work. At that very moment I knew I needed a change and I knew it was time to take that leap of faith. 

I cried for days, I was going to be out of work for awhile due to my injury but at that very moment is when I got the strength to do the work in finding a new job, It was time. One day my Lil sis Kayla put up a Youtube video of one of her friends in her IG stories and I just clicked on it to see what it was about. It was exactly what I needed to hear in that very moment, not only was the video everything that I needed to hear but it gave me so much hope that I was capable of doing what I needed to do. After watching the video, I wrote down a list of what I wanted  in a new job, I applied to indeed and other job sites, I cried and prayed but my faith was stronger than ever at that very moment. That video really changed my perspective on things and I gave myself 30 days to find a new career. 

I applied to new jobs day and night, went on a few interviews but it wasn’t the right fit for me. I was determined after 3 weeks, I finally went to an interview that I was the perfect fit for me. I left the interview manifesting that it was mines  and a few days later, a day before my 30 day mark....I GOT THE JOB!!!! The power of prayer and manifestation is REAL! So it was only right I connected with Tarré and get to know her and share her story with my Confident Queens. I never knew of her before watching her YouTube video but she changed the narrative of how I viewed thingsand gave me the courage I needed to make a change in my life. Here is her story, I pray that she inspires you as she inspired me. 

• Who is Tarré? I am smart, passionate about my life and eager to unlock all my hidden talents and share them with the world. I am an amazing mother, wife, daughter, and friend. I love hard and I am extremely loyal. I am actually pretty shy around anyone I don’t know, it’s the Cancer in me. 

• What does self care mean to you? What does self love mean to you? What does self care mean to you? Self-care is putting yourself first, paying attention to what you need, and doing something about it. I think as women, especially black women we are taught to put everyone’s needs before our own and we often never go back to address our needs. I believe that you must care for yourself first before you can care for another. What does self love mean to you?  Self-love is how you see yourself. To me self-love is not just about having good self-esteem and loving the exterior, it’s about who you are on the inside, the level of respect you have for yourself, and the energy you give off to others.

• What does growth mean to you? How important is it for someone to accept growth? What would you tell someone afraid to grow? What does growth mean to you? Growth is about looking back on situations that have happened over the course of your life and determining if how you handled it then is the same way you would handle it now. I also think a key part of growth is being open to new experiences that may change you as a person for the better.How important is it for someone to accept growth? I think it’s important to accept growth because life is about evolving and leaving the world better than when you entered it. Change doesn’t happen without growth. Growth doesn’t mean you were wrong in the past, it just means you can have a better outcome because you have more facts and experiences that you didn’t before. Life is too short to be stagnate. What would you tell someone afraid to grow?  I would tell them to stop being afraid it’s okay. Growth doesn’t mean changing the foundation of who you are you are adding layers and depth making you a more well rounded person.

• What advice would you tell someone that is afraid to take a leap of faith? If taking a leap of faith was easy everyone would do it. There will always be a fear of the unknown. I look at leaps of faith how I look at roller coasters. There is always an element of fear, that feeling in the in the pit of your stomach, a level of fear if you will but when the ride is over, you’re happy you did it. You get the rush of knowing you conquered something you were afraid of. That’s what a leap of faith feels like, trust in yourself and know that everything will be okay in the end. Feel the rush!

• The power of prayer and manifestation is real, Why do you believe is real? What does prayer mean to you? What does manifestation mean to you?Why do you believe is real? I believe its real because there is no way I would have accomplished all the things that I have without it. It’s just that simple.What does prayer mean to you? To be honest I am not the most spiritual person. However, I think that you have to believe in a higher power that is ultimately guiding you. I came to the realization that the good and bad things that have happened to me weren’t solely a result of my individual actions maybe two years ago. Having faith in God, while maybe not as strong as others I know that it’s not all just me making things happen. There have been plenty of times that I know God has slowed me down and put me in my place, in those times I wasn’t grateful for all the great things I had. I was so focused on trying to get more when I should have appreciated and been thankful for what I did have. When I took the time to truly be grateful, the blessings continued. I don’t think you have to do a formal prayer in order for things to happen for you, but you do need to understand it’s not all you and stop to say thank you.

What does manifestation mean to you? I am a big believer in speaking things into existence. Everything I have ever wanted to do I said it out loud, but most importantly I had a plan behind it. I think that’s the key to manifestation you have to have a plan. It doesn’t have to be extremely detailed, but you should have enough to at least get you going. 

• How do you find balance being a mother, wife and entrepreneur? I am not perfect by any means I struggled to find balance in the beginning mainly because I was trying to give equal attention to every part of my life. I learned that balance is not about equality. It is impossible to split my time equally between my roles of wife, mother, entrepreneur, and woman. Some days or weeks I may only be able to dedicate 25% of my time to personal things, 50% of my time towards business, and splitting the remainder between my home life and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that my child or husband aren’t important, it means that at that time they didn’t require as much time allowing me to shift that time to others. Balance is about adjustment not equality.

• What would you tell someone trying to find balance on doing it all especially while following their dreams?I would tell them that its impossible to do it all at the same time. I would tell them to take some time and write out what you need to get done either on a notepad or a calendar and be 100% honest about the time you need to do each thing. Allocate the time and get to work, if something unforeseen comes up, adjust. I also would tell anyone trying to find balance, to get help if you can and if you have help already utilize it. My husband helps me so much I could never get everything I need to get done at home if he wasn’t there to assist. Whether it’s giving our daughter a bath and getting her ready for her meals or just taking her for a few hours so I can focus on work, I utilize the help that I have in order to do it all. Doing it all doesn’t mean you do it all on your own. 

• I was so inspired by you after watching your YouTube video “Quitting my job and finding a new one “, what was your purpose in making that video? What did you want someone to gain after watching that video? How did you find the courage to quit your job? And what steps did you take to find a new job fit for you? what was your purpose in making that video? The purpose of the video was to tell me story and to question if they are happy in their careers and encourage them to do something about it.What did you want someone to gain after watching that video? I want everyone who watches the video to know that deserve better from employers and to challenger them to live up to the values they have set in place. I also want every viewer to know that you can quit and not be a failure.How did you find the courage to quit your job? And what steps did you take to find a new job fit for you? I knew I wanted better for myself. I am a hard worker and I go above and beyond in every position I take on. I deserve to be valued and supported by my employer. The company I worked for promoted that they were one of the best places to work and how they valued their employees but after 4 years I didn’t feel that. I needed the support to make me want to continue to go above and beyond. To find a new job I thought long and hard about what I wanted in my next job, I made a list in order of importance. I updated my resume, signed up for LinkedIn Premium and put myself on the market. During my interview process I was honest with potential employers about what I wanted, and I asked critical questions in order to make an informed decision. I wasn’t afraid to decline an offer if I felt like my needs wouldn’t be met. I wasn’t in a rush, I still had a job, so I didn’t have to jump at the first opportunity. 

• What are your goals for the future? What would you want to achieve?In the future I am looking forward to exploring my hidden talents. I want to start multiple businesses geared towards what I like. I want to make a name for myself and I want to continue to help and inspire others. I haven’t quite figured out what I will ultimately do or how long it will take to make my dreams a reality, but I know I have what it takes to succeed…passion, talent, and faith.

• What is one thing you would tell your younger self? I would tell my younger self to stop and enjoy your life. When I was younger, especially in college I was so focused on having a career right after graduation I missed out on a lot of fun times. You only get to be young and care fee once. I would want my younger self to not take herself to seriously, I used to REALLY care what people think. I would want my younger self to know that the things you care about, or think are a big deal actually aren’t and won’t matter down the road. 

• What is next for as told by RE? What do you wish to accomplish with as told by RE?  I have so many more stories to tell. I started this channel to share my life, as new things happen and I learn new lessons I want to share them. I also want my channel to evolve to include some of my guilty pleasures. I really love hair, I like wigs, natural hair, and hair color. I’d like to add this type of content to my channel. I have a lot of ideas and I can’t wait to share them.What do you wish to accomplish with as told by RE?  I really just want my channel to be an extension of me. I have a lot of sides to me and I just want to make content a large variety of people can enjoy and relate to. 

• Confidence Is You Because 

I know exactly who I am and I love it. I accept the flaws and I work hard everyday to be the best version of myself and to encourage others to do the same. 

Believe in yourself, have faith and manifest everything your heart desires, there is nothing impossible to accomplish. You Can do it, you got this. Last year I was telling myself, I wanted to be in a better position in life, I was scared and as soon as I left my fears go and manifested what I wanted, I got what was meant for me. Speak it into existence!!! 

 

Tarré you are an angel on earth and I am beyond grateful that I watched your video that day not expecting it to change my life. I just hit my one month mark at my new job and I love it. It’s everything that I Prayed for and a new career which I will grow, learn and become better. Keep insping, Keep being amazing. I know you have more lives to change and to make an incredible impact for our Queens. Make sure you keep up with Tarré by following her IG @astoldbyre 

      My Confident Love from me to you

                      Xoxo, Yanika 

Being Confident In Who You Are

I'm going to start this blog by saying " YOU ARE CAPABLE OF DOING ANYTHING YOU PUT YOUR MIND INTO", there is truly nothing in this world that is impossible to achieve. A few months ago, I had a vision to have my own women empowerment event. I had this vision since the  time  I had an event which was 5 years ago but I kept on making excuses. There were no real reason why I never did it, I just never did. But since last year I kept telling myself that I had to make it happen especially in 2019. I first said I would do it in the spring time, before you knew it, spring was over and it was now summer. I knew I couldn't let the year come to an end without making my vision a reality.

I needed to do what my heart was telling me to do, I knew how important it was to get 40-50 queens together to inspire and motivate one another. We live in a world where women rather break each other down instead of uplifting each other. I wanted to break the cycle someway and bring my queens together for an evening full of inspiration, hope and happiness. So exactly on August 1st, an incident happened which left me injured and that was all the push that I needed. I knew that it was time for me to do what I needed to do for myself and not talk about it anymore. There were no reasons why I was giving myself excuses, None at all. So a few weeks later, I went to look at a venue which I had in mind with my friend Nickesha. I didn't know how I was going to pay for the venue, food, gift bags, how was I going to do it. Nickesha said " God will make a way".

A few days later I booked the venue, I couldn't make any more excuses. I knew if I made an effort, things will happen for me. Within a week, not only was the venue booked, I had 7 sponsors to cater the treats and food. Look at God! I let go of my fears and God made a way, This is why you just have to go for what you believe in, it may seem impossible to accomplish at the moment but doesn't mean it can't happen. I knew in my heart I was capable of doing it so I don't even know why I was giving  myself excuses. LET GO OF THE EXCUSES & MAKE IT HAPPEN!



I wanted to create an evening where women be reminded that they are capable of doing it all as well be reminded as well that they are worth it and they do matter. On November 9, 2019, I turned my vision into a reality by hosting my very own SOLD OUT women empowerment event. I did it with the help of many but I did it. It's amazing how amazing things take place when you let go of your fears and doubt. The night was magical, it was special, it was intimate and full of love and inspiration.



To see so many Queens under one roof there to not only support me but to support each other made my heart smile. We live in a society where women envy other women just for being themselves, we have to change that. We have so much potential and it is important for us to shine and rise together. I had 3 amazing guest speakers that I knew from day 1 I wanted there to share their stories, their gems and leave everyone inspired. Andrea Toussaint, Correy Kaiten and Yliana Guzman left me so inspired but everyone felt the same way. I will always be thankful for them for as long as I live. 


Music, drinks, good food, GREAT VIBES is what the evening was like. It was truly amazing from beginning to end. Everyone left inspired and truly motivated to tackle their goals and ideas. Iam so blessed that I was capable of turning my vision into a reality to encourage others. I know this is what Iam meant to do in life, this is my purpose. My determination is stronger than ever as well as my faith. There is nothing that I can’t do and the same goes for you. 

If you have a vision, go for it. Don’t wait for anyone or anything stop you from doing what you are meant to be doing. Life is too short to wait for tomorrow, Do It Now. I believe in you, promise me you will always believe in yourself. 

              My Confident Love From Me To You

                              Xoxo, Yanika 

(Temporary Backup) Invest In Yourself

Why is it so hard to invest in yourself? Is it because you’re afraid of failing or it is because you don’t believe in yourself enough as you should. Now you have to keep in mind, things won’t be handed to you. Well for most of us, we have to actually work hard for the things that we want. I know I had to and as much as I was scared to invest in myself, I knew that if I wanted to make my dreams come true, prosper with “ Confidence Is You”, grow into the person I needed to be and appreciate love, I had to do what I had to do. Iam going to break this blog into 3 parts, 1) Investing in yourself, 2) Investing in your dreams 3) Investing in love.


INVESTING IN YOURSELF

Taking time for yourself is so necessary and needed, we all have busy lives but we need to take time for our mental health. This is why making time to invest in yourself and giving yourself the love and self care is important. I didn't realize that investing in myself was as important but it wasn't until I had my son that I was like " Oh shit, what about me?". I wasn't being selfish but in order to be the best person that you need to be, you must work on your needs and wants as much as you can and do what makes you happy. Even if it's to go get a mani and pedi, GO FOR IT! Make time for YOURSELF, it can be 20 mins to read a few chapter of a book or an hour to go to the gym. Life is hard as it is and it is important that you put yourself first and do things that make you happy. Iam at the hair salon right now as Iam writing this blog. As Iam sitting in the chair Iam doing this as well, doing two things that’s making me invest in myself. Keep in mind that you matter and you’re worth it, don’t forget about how amazing/special you are.

As I mentioned all you need is a few minutes or whatever it is that makes you feel good. Don’t make it difficult or unnecessary, just invest in yourself for YOU! 

INVESTING IN YOUR DREAMS

I get these questions asked a lot, “did anyone invest in you?” “ did anyone invest in confidence is you” “did you invest in yourself” and the list goes on. This is it, I INVESTED IN MYSELF AND IN MY DREAMS. Everything from my self published book, T-shirt’s, hats and everything else I came out with for Confidence Is You, invested in it with my own money, sweat and tears. I believe in myself, I may not where I need to be or where I want to be but I know my hard work and determination will pay off one day. Nothing happens overnight, I just have to stay consistent and keep going for what I believe in. So many people have dreams but are scared to achieve them, what are you scared of? There is nothing in this life that is impossible to achieve. You just have to do the work, stay consistent and keep going. Stop waiting for it to happen or for it to come to you without doing the work. INVEST IN YOUR DREAMS, INVEST IN YOURSELF!

 I could of given up a long time ago but for what so I can cry while watching everyone else go for what they believe in. NOPE! I follow so many people on Instagram that inspires me on the daily but it’s one person, a black women at that that wakes me the f*ck up when Iam slacking and her name is MIA Ray. She is truly the goat for starting her own business and never given up, she started her brand 10 years ago and she is now reaching the level of success she dreamed of. She could of given up a long time ago but she didn’t. From wallets to tote bags, she is on her sh*t while being an amazing mother to her 2 boys. I’ve witnessed her sell out of her items all in a day. She inspires and motivate me each and everyday. If you feel that you’re not motivated enough, find motivation. Get inspired by any means necessary to make your dreams come true. 

It’s never too late to go for what you believe in, don’t let your age stop you either. Some of the most successful people made their dreams come true in their late 30s,40s and even older than that. THERE ARE NO EXCUSES FOR TURNING YOUR VISION INTO YOUR REALITY. You have to believe in yourself and invest in your dreams just as much as you invest in yourself.  Stop making excuses and stop doubting yourself, you are more than enough and you are capable of reaching all that your heart desires. 

INVESTING  IN LOVE. 

Love is truly amazing and everyone deserves to love and to be loved. I love LOVE, I appreciate being able to love someone and having someone love me for exactly who I am. But I’ve come to realize that most people are in situations where their happiness doesn’t come first and they are settling for less than what they deserve. I truly feel the same way you are investing in yourself and in your dreams, you have to invest in the love you deserve. You can’t settle for anyone that isn’t worthy of your time and happiness. Why be with someone who doesn't appreciate you and see you for who you are?  If you are investing in yourself, you can't settle for less than what you deserve.


I've been in love where it hurts and through that process it was hard for me to truly find who I was and take time to invest in what was important in my life. I refuse to go back to who I was during that time and this is why its so important for me to invest in the love that I deserve and the love who proves to me daily that I am worthy. Iam not saying the love I have now is perfect but its worth it. Know that you matter and know that you are indeed worth it. Your happiness comes first and you must do what is needed for you to be happy.








I truly feel with 2020 approaching, it is time to invest in what matters and put your best foot forward and be your best authentic self and go for what your heart desires. Life is too short to be living in fear and letting days go by without going for the things you believe in. Tomorrow isn't promise to anyone but its never too late to go for what your  believe in either. Invest in yourself just as much as you believe in yourself. Faith over fear, Happiness over settling. I refuse to live the life that I  wish to live when I can do what is necessary to live the life I want. INVEST IN YOUR HAPPINESS!

It’s Been Awhile

Once again it’s been awhile since I’ve written a blog, I say this because Iam always saying how Iam going to be “consistent” and then weeks go by until I post another blog. From the first week of August to now the last week of September, yeah it’s been awhile. Iam not going to seat here and write why I haven’t written a blog in weeks, I haven’t and it’s OK. I thought of writing many blogs, I have a few saved in draft but I didn’t finish them and it’s ok, one day I will. 

Right now, at this very moment while laying in bed on a beautiful Friday night at 9:44pm and decided to start writing this blog. I don’t know where Iam going with it but my heart is telling me to tell you “No matter what, Keep Going”. Life is hard and society makes it hard every day for us to be ourselves and for us to do what makes you happy. I’ve learn in the past few months especially that in order to live a good life, you have to be happy within yourself and do what’s best for you always. You can’t put yourself last while putting others first and you kept keeping wishing you could do it when deep down  you know you can. 

I know that I can be one of the best bloggers out there if I just stayed consistent and I’ve dealt with feeling down about it but I pick myself up and tell myself “ you got this, Keep going”. I may not be where I want to be despite it’s been years since I started “Confidenc Is You” but I know one day I will. And the fact that Iam still going no matter what, I know it will eventually pay off. So I keep swimming and I have no plans on stopping ever and while doing so Iam going to be myself and continue to do what’s makes me happy. 

Too many people are suffering from mental illness, shit is real. Too many people are fighting depression because they can’t be themselves or feel as if they aren’t good enough battling childhood trauma, issues that they can’t handle and so much more. Too many of us are silently killing ourselves with our tears and sorrows because it’s just too much. It’s sad, it hurts me to know they are so many people fighting a battle that they feel they will lose. I’ve been there, I was knocked down but I fought back with everything in me and I won. They are some days I feel like everything is against me but when I feel that depression feeling slowly coming back on to me, I remember the days I was at my lowest where I almost took my life away and I suddenly fight back. 

I refuse to let anything or anyone get me to that point, there is nothing that you may be going through that can get the best of you. Keep in mind and feel it in your heart that YOU MATTER. No matter how hard things get, Keep Going. You’re stronger then you know, keep fighting. The battle can be tough but you’re tougher. You know what amazes me, there is someone going through hell, and they are smiling through it all. While Iam laying in bed with a roof over my head, there is someone praying for a place to stay. So why wouldn’t I be grateful for it all? And fight for my happiness. 

Life is too short so whatever it is that you may be going through m, fight that shit and keep going to be the best version of yourself and live a life with beautiful memories of the things that you wanted to do and that makes you happy then a life full of regrets. YOU GOT THIS, KEEP GOING! 

            A Confident Love From Me To You

                            Xoxo, Yanika 

Emotional Rollercoaster....

It's been awhile since I've written a blog, I don't even know where to begin. So this is going to be one of those blogs where I just write what's on my mind and go with the flow. These past few weeks haven't  been easy, I honestly started feeling back to myself about 2 weeks ago. I just woke up one morning and said to myself " You can't keep feeling this way, You're more than ENOUGH. You Got This". It's important to have self talks with yourself because it is so easily to fall into depression and sadness. And I honestly felt that I was fighting depression as I carried the burdens that I was being faced with and the ones of my love ones. I  couldn't go on with how I was feeling, I had to be strong especially for my son. 

The thing about life is that  it happens and you never know what will happen tomorrow. No matter how much you pray for things to go right, something will eventually happen which we didn't expect. I say when these unexpected things happen that aren't in our favor, they are a test from God. He wants to see if you're capable of not only being strong  but staying strong enough not to break. I believe in God but as soon as things go wrong, I questioned him and my faith. I recently came to terms with " when shit happens, still smile" because everything will eventually be just fine. I know things will get  better but while you're in those feelings, it's impossible to see the positive out of what you're going through. I overthink so much and see the worst case scenario out of what Iam going through which isn't good at all. But Iam trusting the process as hard at it is at times, Ian holding on to my faith. I know God put me in some tough situations in the past that I felt I would never overcome. We all went through something in life, that made us feel as if our world was coming to an end.  Here we are living our lives perfectly fine, we overcame our situation just like God knew we would.

I just haven't felt this way in a long time so for me to be on such a emotional rollercoaster was too much for me to handle. I would get to work and just cry ( Thank God for some of my amazing co-workers that were there for me), I would get home and cry but I always made sure that I didn't cry in front of MJ. Children feel when things are wrong, they might not understand what's going on but they can feel it. I never want MJ to feel when Mommy is sad, I don't want my wounds to affect him in any kind of way. I literally felt as if I was fighting depression, I wasn't going to let this bitxh win. I've dealt with depression in the past and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It's the toughest battle to fight but you have to stay strong and fight until you WIN. I did that, I beat it. 

You can't allow temporary circumstances to break you down. You have to keep fighting, you have to keep pushing. IT'S OK NOT TO BE OK from time to time but you can't let it break you. I just needed to sit back, pray and put things into perspective. Some of the shit I was feeling wasn't even my issues but belong to the ones I love. It's hard for someone you love to be going through it and there is nothing that you can do about it. It's hard AF but all you can do is PRAY FOR THEM and help them through the process. I just had to let go of their issues weighing me down, it wasn't fair for my mental health. Everyone is fighting their own battles, some are silent about them while others can't help to show their emotions which is ok. But someone else's problems aren't your problems to deal with, trust me its hard not to feel a way especially if it's someone you care for but as I mentioned before Pray for them and be by their side as you help them through it.

I shared A LOT over the years sharing different experiences I've dealt and its through my transparency I feel at peace. I always say that God put me through things so I can share my story to help others and I truly believe he does. Exactly 2 weeks ago, I posted a quote that said " I don't think people realize how much strength it takes to pull your own self out of a dark place mentally. so if you've done that today or any day, I'm proud of you". It was important for me to share that quote and be honest that for the past few weeks I haven't been ok and just been on an emotional rollercoaster which has me evaluating my whole life and making me question so many things in my life. I was hesitate to share but one of my co workers Genesis, (she's actually more than a coworker, she is my friend and I am beyond thankful for her because through all of this she was there for me) but anyways I told her I wanted to share my truth and she said " Go ahead, Do it". 

I Didn't expect so many DMs but I am so grateful that I shared that post and was able to help people that were feeling the same way I was. I gave them hope that everything will eventually be alright and to keep on fighting. I Thank God, My son and Therapy that kept me going an kept me strong, so if you're on a emotional rollercoaster just know that eventually everything will be ok. You just have to believe it will and have faith that something bigger and better is going to come for what you're going through. Don't fail the test, pass the test and show God You're stronger than you think. No matter what you're going through, NEVER FOLD. 

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger............

A Confident Love From Me to You

Xoxo, Yanika 

Self Care IS YOU!

What does self care mean to you?

 I never realized how important self care is until having MJ, I didn’t realize that taking some time for you is needed and necessary especially for your mental health. So many of us are on the go where juggling many things at once never just take 5 minutes to breath. Before you know it, you’re stressed and feeling overwhelmed because you forgot to take some time for you. 

Self care doesn’t take much, it can take as much as reading a book and going for a walk. It doesn’t require hours but just enough time for you to breath and connect with yourself again. Mental health is so important and more people than we know deal with it. We are all dealing with our own battles but it is also important in the mist of dealing with things to take a step back to take care of yourself. Even if it’s to go out with friends, that’s taking time for you. I never knew how much I needed my ME Time until now. No matter how busy I am or how much I have to do, I take time for me. 

I need to be the best Version Of Myself especially around MJ, he doesn’t need to see or feel his mother frustrated or stressed. So it is important to me that I take my ME TIME at least twice a week and it usually last an hour or two. I take that time to disconnect, breathe and do something that I love such as reading, writing ( currently writing this blog on my ME Time), Watching a movie, going for a mani/pedi and the list goes on. It’s so many things I do on my ME time and I wouldn’t trade it for anything and I also feel that I deserve it. Being a full time mother and working full time, it’s not easy but I get shit done. 

Self care also means of letting things or people that no longer serve you. You have the ability to protect your peace and your energy at all times. Keeping certain individuals in your life because you have “history” with them or you feel they will “change” but never do Isn’t worth it to you. Here they are consuming your peace when you can easily let them go. I get it, it’s not easy letting go but I’ve learned over the years, if it’s not serving me in the right way, then I simply let it go. Once again your mental health is important and you have to protect it by all means. 

Self care is important, you’re important and you need to be reminded of that daily. It’s ok to take time for yourself and do some of the things that brings you joy or let go of things/people that doesn’t bring peace into your life. Some may say “you’re being selfish” when in all reality, you’re taking care of the most important person which is yourself. How can you be happy from within if you haven’t taken proper care of yourself? Or let go of the things weighting you down. We all need 5 mins to breathe and disconnect so we can just put things into perspective so we can be OK. 

Here are some self care tips that you can practice so you can take the ME Time that you deserve 

• Go for a walk or a run 
• Read a book/ magazine
• Get a pedi and mani or a facial 
• Go to the movies or to dinner with a friend or by yourself. ( There is absolutely nothing wrong with going out by yourself)
• Take a bubble bath 
• Write down your goals and plans for the following week, month or year. 

This is just a few of the things that you can do but most of all do what makes you happy, do things that will satisfy you and ease your mind. Being stress and feeling overwhelming isn’t worth it, being at peace within yourself and taking care of your mental as well of your self being is what’s important. So don’t be ashamed or scared to take time for you, always remember you Matter and you’re worth it. 

         A Confident Love From Me To You

                          Xoxo, Yanika