Don't Become Who Hurt You!

As she shares with me her pain, she states that "I will never be the same, I will never love another man again". For years she loved this man, never thought in a million years that he will break her heart to the point she believed it will never heal again. I looked her in the eyes and said "You will love again, trust me you will". It brought me back to when I felt the same exact way, there was a time I kept telling myself "Iam done with love". I was hurt for awhile but then I realized I can't be the person that hurt me.

 My heart was filled with love and it wouldn't be fair if I didn't show someone else the love I have inside of me. We all been in a position where we have been hurt before but the pain we went through doesn't define us. I was done with love as I wrote about it in previous blogs  but it wouldn't had been fair for me not to give it to someone else who would appreciate it. If you're a good women then you stay a good women. Why would you change who you are because of pain and what you dealt with all because someone didn't appreciate you. Love is suppose to teach us as time goes on. The pain that you endure let it grow and teach you to love again even more. Breakups hurt but losing someone who doesn't respect you, Love you or appreciate you is actually a gain, not a loss as I wrote in a previous blog "Smiles to broken promises". 

It took awhile for me to realize this but I learned that he wasn't worthy of me and the same goes for you. Don't give up on love, it won't give up on you. Your heart will be healed again by someone who will love you for you and appreciate all that you do. As my friend Daquan Henry said " we all face obstacles and encounter dead ends, but don't let experiences change you for the worst. Don't let someone change how you love, change with how you connect with someone, change how your heart beats when it's caressed by  someone's  actions,  change the passion your eyes carry, change change the person you are"  and he is so right.

 If we changed the person we are because of the things we go through we would constantly be someone else. Don't change who you are, just learn from it. Always be who you are, don't let your heart turn cold. My heart was cold for a very long time while still believing in love. It took a special someone to change the temperature of my heart. I was scared but I had to allow myself to love again and trust my heart in his hands. Sometimes I think back what if I became who hurt me? What if I never gave love a chance again? What if I just allowed my heart to be cold?  And If I allowed those things to happen I wouldn't have the love I have now. 

It will take time to heal again but the person that will find you will take that pain away from you. There is someone praying for someone like you, your love shouldn't go unnoticed. Your love shouldn't have to suffer because of your past, your love is meant to be admire by someone that will be thankful to have it. Don't become who hurt you, let the next person get a chance on what it's like to have a girl like you.  

A broken heart is meant to be healed again in due time, love even more than you did before. The pain I felt gave me understanding, it made me realize that I was even more of an amazing person than I thought I was. My pain made me love myself again and made me realize I was worth it for love again. Don't be mad at what he did, don't hate yourself for feeling the pain you feel, don't give up on love and most of all don't become who hurt you. Be you, love even more and always know your worth. 

  

YOU ARE FIT ONLY FOR A KING THAT IS STRONG ENOUGH TO HONOR A QUEEN ❤️ 

   

      A Confident Love From Me To You

                      Xoxo Yanika 

A Confident Transformation Featuring Monica Taylor ❤️

Today we are shining the spotlight on 26-year-old Monica Taylor (@the_oma_life) from Northeast, OH. Monica has always been very interested in athletics, science, and more recently health and fitness. Although she is currently working in corporate America full time, she still makes time to not only pursue a personal training certification but also some fitness modeling on the side. So what’s her story? Well, back in high school Monica was in fact an athlete, but due to stress and lack of self-care she became very unhealthy in college. Looking at pictures of her wasn’t the same because she could barely recognize herself. Not just that, but Monica also found trouble in taking part in activities she once succeeded in, she couldn’t even participate without being winded, and worst of all her blood pressure and cholesterol were too high. It was at that moment Monica realized it was time to finally take care of herself.

 

She decided to start her weight loss by counting calories with caloriecount.com. Along with counting calories she started out 4-6 days a week, first doing a lot of cardio then once informed about that benefits of lifting she incorporated that into her plan as well. Monica did not limit her exercises, to keep her interested she tried a variety of workouts form boot camp to kickboxing, even home workout DVD’s. Food-wise, she started out eating mostly homemade whole foods and on occasion she ate sweets/processed food. By eating whole foods, Monica was able to easily stay full on reduced calories, and allowing occasional less healthy splurges prevented her from eventually binging. All in all, she made sure to never cut calories too low to ensure that her metabolism stayed up even when she was trying to lose fat.

 

When asked what kept her motivated, Monica responded by saying she was mostly motivated by the picture she had in her mind of how she wanted to look and feel. She also looked to others in her family who struggled with their health and knew that she didn’t want to be in that position when she got older. Monica’s motivation’s also included surrounding herself with like-minded people in support groups and social networks to help cheer her on. In addition to the previous listings, she used a very strategic yet simple method where she broke main goals into smaller ones—daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly, to celebrate each small win instead of focusing on how much farther she had to go. “What I think was very important was to not focus on the scale only.” That’s right! Monica decided not to solely focus on the scale because while it may be a good guide in some ways, it doesn’t tell the full story. She decided to pay attention to non-scale goals such as how clothes fit, how much stronger she was getting, and her health improvements, just to name a few. That is what kept her proud and motivated her to keep going even if the scale wasn’t moving. In the moments that she felt discouraged or felt like she fell behind, she reminded herself that the time would pass anyway whether she reached her goals or not, so she might as well keep going or else she would regret the time wasted.

 

Along this fitness journey Monica acquired an exercise routine which consist of doing a fully body weight lifting workout 3 times per week and some type of interval/circuit training (which usually consists of lifting lightweights or her body weight) or some type of sprinting intervals (going fast for a period of time and slowing down for a period of time) two days per week. And to top it off she gets two days of rest per week. As far as her meal plan, as stated previously she eats mostly whole foods including: fresh produce, whole grains, dairy, eggs, fish, unrefined oils, and natural sugars. Occasionally she’ll eat food that falls of that category, however she makes sure that no matter what she consumes, it is mostly plant based and that she also meets her nutritional needs for the day.

 

Monica has admitted that overtime her mindset went from being focused on weight loss to becoming focused on her overall health. Her eating habits today are a complete lifestyle change, mostly cooks her own food with simple whole ingredients packed with nutrition, and she has also made the choice to not eat fast or processed food very often. Her workout schedule is no longer just fat/weight loss oriented, but more to keep up the health of her entire body. Overall Monica is taking small initiatives to stay active in general like taking the stairs instead of the elevators and walking during her breaks.

 

 

For those who may find themselves losing weight for the benefit of someone else Monica says: “Don’t lose weight for anyone other than yourself! You never know if the person/people you’re trying to please will even be there for you when you reach the goal they want for you. Also, it does more mental damage on you if you are not trying to lose weight for yourself. There will always be people who don’t like something about you – what I’ve found was that even after the weight loss some were pleased with how I looked and some were disappointed. You can’t please everyone! Only do this for yourself if it’s what you want. You can be a healthy person even at a heavier weight and you can be unhealthy at a lower weight, so just focus on your health first and foremost whether you’re losing weight or not.” However if you know for a fact that you’re losing the weight for you and no one else, Monica’s advice is simple, while you may see ideas from eithers you must do what works best for your lifestyle while still allowing you to enjoy your life. Your journey should never become so overwhelming that it affects you negatively. In addition it is important that you aren’t solely focused on you weight but your over health and fitness levels. “It may also help to have a support group whether in real life or on some type of social network.”

 

In order to maintain her figure, Monica will continue to stay active and eat healthy foods like she is doing now. She will continue to pay attention to how clothes fit and get regular check ups, most importantly she will not let herself slip to the point where she doesn’t look or feel the way she wants. I asked Monica to finish the sentenceConfidence is Me because… She responded: “Confidence is Me because I took control of my life to become healthier and stronger, and I could find something beautiful about myself every step of the way.”

Monica You're An Inspiration To Me, An Inspiration To Many, May You Keep On Inspiring, The World Needs YOU. Confidence Will Always Be YOU 💕

      A Confident Love From Me To You

               Xoxo, Yanika & Kayla 

Smiles To Broken Promises...KNOW YOUR WORTH 💛

As you sit in the house with tears in your eyes, you're wondering if it will ever be the same. In the beginning everything seem right, he made you feel like the luckiest girl in the world. The way he would stare at you made you believe in love even more, from the "how you doing" text messages and the good night calls to see how your day went left a smile across your face. You were afraid to give love a chance after being in love before but he promise to not only take care of your heart but to love you more with every breath he takes. Everything was perfect and you were the happiest that you ever been. 

As years went by things were slowly changing, you started  feeling as if things wouldn't last forever. He didn't make you feel appreciated as he did before, he got comfortable and your love that he promise to cherish, he started to take for granted. Thoughts starts going through your mind asking yourself "Is there someone else?". You communicate with him, he says things will change but weeks go by and things are still the same. You know your worth, you're much wiser now so what do you do?! Once you know your worth, settling for less than what you deserve isn't worth it. At Times We Settle Knowing That We Deserve More Hoping In The Mist Of It We Find The Happiness We Deserve. Remember You're In Control, Find Your Happiness Before It All, Make Yourself Happy Than Settle For Exactly What You Deserve. You love him but you love yourself more.

 The time comes when you make your decision without a warning and you leave. Your heart is broken knowing the man you love and trusted broke all the promises he made to you but you have to do what's best  for yourself. You can't allow someone to mistreat you and take your heart for granted. You're amazing, don't think you aren't. He was just too busy not noticing it to let you get away. Remember you are a Queen, this broken heart that you feel will never heal in due time it will. You're one of a kind with a heart that is meant to love and receive the same love in return.

 Your worth is what matters and it's his loss. He will be the one for the rest of his life regretting that he should of kept his promises to keep you happy, to love you enough to put a ring on your finger and make you his wife to spend the rest of his life with you but he didn't. He thought you will never leave because you loved him not knowing that one day you will get fed up. So you won't be the one with a broken heart for the rest of your life because you will love again and find someone to never lose sight of your worth. It will be him with regrets and broken heart knowing he let an amazing Queen go. Never forget your worth My Confident Dolls, Just know you were too worthy for him. 

It's ok to love and fall out of love, we beat ourselves thinking that once we find someone and fall in love with them, that's it. But actually it's not, no matter what you have to think about yourself and know your worth matters through it all. All those broken heart I've dealt with in the past were lesson learned and as I smile today, they are the ones hurting. But I also realized they weren't the right one for me, God knew my Prince Charming was still out there for me and trust me your Prince Charming is out here waiting for the perfect day to find you.  

As much as it may hurt to leave, it will hurt much more if you stay in a situation that you aren't happy in. Know that you matter!!!! 

    A Confident Love From Me To You

                     Xoxo, Yanika 

A Confident Transformation Featuring Teisha Henry ❤️

Meet Tiesha Henry (@mama_fitt)! A certified personal trainer, food handler, group spin instructor, and mom of a twenty-three year old son. Above all she is a woman who not only decided to seek happiness, but also took the initiative to make changes in her life that would make her happy. In 2007 she was injured on the job and it left her with severe muscle spasms on the left side of her neck, shooting pain down her left arm, and a damaged disc in her neck (C3 & C4). While she enjoyed not having to go to work for a few years, the physical and emotional pain took a toll on her. Along with the constant pain, she had to receive injections in her neck twice a month. Tiesha sunk into a depression as she continued to gain more weight. “I felt like I was dying slowly,” unhappy with where she was at in her life, Tiesha would always complain about her life and body. Losing all faith, she got to the point where she didn’t even feel like praying anymore because in her eyes nothing was getting better. However that all changed, as years passed she was taught by a mentor/friend that instead of blaming everyone else and making excuses about why things aren’t working in her favor she should take the initiative and work on herself.  Along with always surrounded herself with people who had higher dreams and reading self-help books to better herself. Tiesha turned to God, asking her to get past the hate and anger she was experiencing in her heart, and God answered her prayers. She woke up one day flushed every bottle of pills down the toilet (except for 2 bottles which she kept in case of an emergency) and got her a membership at Bally Total fitness, 3 days a week for $19.99.

 

Her weight loss journey started with attending Bally Total Fitness three days a week. However, she didn’t limit herself to the three-day commitment alone, she would attend all the free classes offered at, began to walk more, and she didn’t workout alone. Tiesha was not afraid to admit that she didn’t start dieting right away, right after working out her and the ladies would go straight to the Chinese Restaurant, emphasizing that it is okay to move at your own pace. Tiesha was finally getting back to her happy place and she NEVER felt like giving up. She was determined to lose the weight and get healthy. She emphasizes the fact that it’s all about her and still is about her, and that thought is what keeps her going. While none of her friends attend the gym (and if they do they’re inconsistent) she still continues her weight loss journey. She says all this not to put them or anyone else down in any way, but to make a valid point: Make your weight loss journey about YOU! “Because when they stop, you continue pushing because your goal is not their goal.”

 

Tiesha’s exercise routine is a little challenging, but she provided me with a moderate workout routine. As a personal trainer she is very aware of ladies concerns when it come to weight loss: legs, butt, & stomach, where some don’t even care about their arms. She starts off with 2-3 sets of 20 reps on their body parts, she personally add 10 lbs. ankle weights when she is working on her legs and 4-6 sets of 20 reps. Tiesha is all about challenging herself to continue gaining positive results. For abdominals, she recommends 2-3 sets of 40 crunches and lower ab workouts for her clients, for herself she pumps it up to 2-3 sets of 100 crunches and lower ab workouts. “Ladies we must go hard on our stomach, (its) not an easy muscle to lose, also diet is 85% of your life change.” By putting in the work and following the “Better Eating Plan” she provides with training weight loss turns into a healthy lifestyle.

 

Along with working out, Tiesha’s eat habits have changed as well. She came to a point in her life where she realized that in order to maintain her 165lbs body she had to make her diet a big part of the lifestyle. Her diet consists of 3 small portion meals per day (breakfast, lunch, dinner) and 3 snacks. What she does is in between each meal she has her snack. She also drinks plenty of water, recommending 6-8 bottles of water a day depending on your body size. And since she has reached the point where she can eat what she wants, on Fridays and Saturdays she chooses to eat out and “indulge in someone else’s cooking” while following a healthy diet during the week. The trick to her eating out is that she eliminates oily and greasy foods, and if she should have a craving for fried fish or chicken (YUMMY!!!!), she prepares herself and cooks it in coconut oil.

 

The lifestyle changes that she has made overall is staying active and loving herself more. She keeps her state of mind focused on her goals. Doing so allows her to keep an open mind, reminding herself that if she doesn’t continue to follow her routine she will return to the unhealthy person she was year ago. Tiesha has dedicated herself to not only maintaining a healthy lifestyle, but uses her life lessons to teach others how to maintain a healthy lifestyle: doing so by default allows her to stay healthy. “No one wants to train with an unhealthy personal trainer! Always remember people are watching you, some hoping that you fail.” And that’ll never happen because she loves this Mama_Fitt even more!

 

           Tiesha With Her Son Daquan

When asked what advice she would give to someone who wasn’t losing the weight for their self she simply replied: “It is not going to work!” Here in 2014, the same people she started working out with in 2007 did not stay with because of just that. She emphasizes the fact that you must let yourself be the reason that you do anything in life, don’t let it be about anyone but you because when it comes down to it, only the strong survive! And for those who want to lose weight for their self she says to start off with writing down your goals before you start working out using these 5 simple questions (questions she asks her clients):

1.     What do you want to come out of this weight loss?

2.     What are you willing to give up to reach and maintain your goal?

3.     Why do you want to lose the weight?

4.     If I help you reach your goal how would you feel?

5.     When would you be ready to get started?

 

In order to maintain her figure Tiesha does one simple, at the end of the day she remembers “Tiesha wants this!!” While some of you reading this may be thinking yeah right she’s a trainer it’s easy for her, she’s working out with herclients. She expresses that is not the case at all because at times she’s training 12 people per day, teaching classes, and subbing classes for other instructors, which doesn’t give her the time to work out as often as she’d like to. However she doesn’t use that as an excuse, Tiesha makes the time and goes harder because her time is so limited.

Lastly, I asked Tiesha to finish the sentence: Confidence is me because…She responded: “Confidence is me because I stop blaming others for what has happen in my past, started loving me more, set aside realistic goals to make me a better person! I stop allowing people to my reason I make the decision in my life! I am truly at peace with myself, and I love the Sexy...Lovable-Diva.... Life Coach.... Mama_Fitt God has designed me to be!!!One thing I have learned from my mentors yes it is always about you first but once you start helping others by default you will reach your goals.”

 

Tiesha Confidence Will Always Be You, You're A Phenomenal Women & Greatness Belongs To You. Thank You For Being An Inspiration ❤️

    A Confident Love From Me To You

            Xoxo Yanika & Kayla