Inspired By Bruce Jenner, Be Who You Are & No One Else!

For years I pretended to be someone else besides myself, I was just so scared of people judging me and saying negative things about me that I just pretended to be happy when deep inside I was hurting to be myself. I knew in order for me to be genuinely happy, i needed to be the person I was destine to be. I couldn't pretend to be someone that I wasn't just to satisfy the judgement of others about me. 

The other night as I layed in bed watching the Bruce Jenner interview with Diane Sawyer, I was inspired and I felt so much joy for him to finally be who he truly is without giving a f#$@ about what anyone in the world have say. This is a man that is one of the world's greatest athletes, his family build an empire, and a man that is well respected and loved by many. But for years he was pretending to be someone that he wasn't just to satisfy his love ones and those around. 

This is a man that felt that he was a women starting at the age of 8 years old and at 65 years old, he decided to be exactly the person he was destine to be. Some say why now? Well it's better late than ever and I applaud him for going through it despite what anyone may say or think. He is brave, he is a true hero and when he did this interview he was speaking for millions and opened up the door for millions to be themselves and not be afraid to be who they are. 

Are you being your authentic self? Are you exactly the person that you want to be? Are you happy with yourself? Ask yourself these questions and if the answer is NO for any of them then I want you to breathe and know that by the time you finish reading this blog, you will make a promise to be who you are destined to be. 

Why live your life pretending to be happy and pretending to be somebody else? Yes I agree we live in a society where we are judged for EVERYTHING from our size to the texture of our hair to our skin tone. Society want up to be this perfect little Barbie when I say everyday Barbie isn't perfect. No one is perfect and no one will ever be perfect. I always thought that there was a such thing as perfect but what I've learned over the years is that when you are your authentic self now that's perfect. Regardless of what you do or who you are, people will judge you. So you might as well be yourself and F$@# the opinions of others. 

The best decision I ever made was to be myself, it wasn't an easy process finding my confidence and truly embracing who I was but I knew 4 years ago that I needed to be happy, I had to fight for it and be true to myself. The opinions of others didn't matter because at the end of the day, I MATTERED the most and no one was going to live my life for me. 

It's not easy but you need to be who you are so you can make yourself happy and give yourself the true satisfaction that it needs. Pretending to be someone else isn't worth it and it's only going to make you unhappy. YOU MATTER My Confident Doll, you really do. Everyone deserves the chance to be themselves but no one will give you that chance besides yourself. 

I learned many things that night about Bruce Jenner but one thing I know for sure he inspired me to ALWAYS BE THE PERSON I AM. BE CONFIDENT, BE YOU & Make yourself happy by being your authentic self. Never Forget YOUR WORTH! 

Thank You Bruce Jenner, Someone I Will Always Call A HERO!!!! 

   A Confident Love From Me To You 

                   Xoxo, Yanika 

Be Confident & Take Control!

Why wait for him to start fore play? Why wait for him to position you in a position for you to feel comfortable in? Ever think to yourself that sometimes he just want you to take control and bring him to ecstasy. What's holding you back? You want it, right? It's 2015 you have to be able to play with your clit in front of him without him helping you out or get on top and ride him like your life depended on it as he stare at your rolls. Don't let your weight come in the way of you having an orgasm My Confident Doll, Be Confident. Be Freaky. 

We all love sex, I don't think it's someone on earth that doesn't like to be pleasured. If so, they are missing out big time (IAM NOT JUDGING).  Yes some people are freakier than others, some people are just not experience and some people want to get it in but are afraid to. As for me I probably said it before on the blog or on Instagram, I LOVE SEX. I can have sex EVERYDAY. There was a time I wasn't all into sex because truth is I was uncomfortable with who I was. I was letting my weight get in the way of me getting a good nut. The whole time I would be doing it, I would be thinking about him saying things in his head like" her stomach is too big or she got rolls", I was always thinking negatively. 

So the more negative I thought of myself, the more I wouldn't give my all. It took years but once I realized that I had to be the freak that I was, now Iam butt naked in 2.5 seconds and what makes things even more special is that I have man that doesn't only make me feel comfortable but he loves every inch of my body. 

We all have flaws and we at times let our flaws come in the way of us having fun. Your stomach too big, your thighs are too big, you have rolls, Ok what is the issue?  First and foremost why lay with someone that doesn't appreciate you for all of you. Why lay down and have sex with someone who doesn't even appreciate seeing your whole entire body and without only  caring of having sex with you. I've been there, you lay with him because he gives you the affection that you are looking for and tells you the things you want to hear but does he really care? Have he ever been out in public with you? Have you met his family? Does he care about your well being and if you had a good day today? 

Think about it! A man that truly cares for you and love you for your whole entire being inside and out wouldn't make you feel uncomfortable. Even if you are uncomfortable or you are scared to get intimate with him, he will make you forget about all your fears because he truly cares for you. In the past I would tell "HIM", I don't like having sex without my shirt off, he didn't care enough for me to make me feel comfortable around him. As he is having sex with me, millions of thoughts run through my mind like "he was more interesting in taking my panties off than my shirt". I knew he wasn't the one for me and I should of got up and left but I just laid  there as he did what he had to do. I remembered it felt good but when it was all over,  I would cry secretly because I knew that's the only time he cared when he was deep inside of me. 

I made a promise to myself about 3 years ago, maybe a little bit more that I wouldn't have sex with anyone that I wasn't in a committed relationship with, I kept that promise until I made it exclusive with my love now. I told him and he respected it. Yes, there were many nights I wanted to get on top and give him the best ride of his life but I had to keep my promise. I couldn't continue to give a piece of my worth and diamond to dudes that didn't even care to know how my day was or if I ate dinner that day. 

If he is your man and he loves you for you and all of you and he cares about how your day went and is concern about your where abouts etc, Girl put your confidence on and get on top, position yourself to throw that ass back like a quarter back, lay yourself on your side and let him dig deep inside of you. Stop being so afraid of what he may think, he isn't thinking nothing negatively because he loves you and appreciate all of you. Only reason why you think he is thinking negative is because you are thinking negatively about yourself. I learned that when me and my boyfriend first started having sex. I told him " I keep my shirt on" and his response was "Why", I told him I didn't want him to see my body and fast forward to almost 2 years I never repeated those words. That's  when I told myself that the only reason why I think they think negatively is because I thought negatively about myself. 

If you don't love yourself and appreciate yourself, how can anyone love and appreciate you for all of you. Yes, a man should love and care for you through all your flaws but it's so much that someone can take especially if they do everything in their power to make you feel comfortable not only around them but within yourself. If you love sex and want to do everything your mind and body desire, stop being afraid. Stop worrying and stop thinking so negatively about yourself and get your freak on. Everything that you are worried about such as your rolls, stomach and big thighs will be there after you're done doing what you're done. Why be ashamed of something that is part of you? Your flaws are still beautiful whether what you may think. 

He is ready for you and want you to give him all of you, stop by caressing him from his neck to his balls. Kiss him passionately and guide his hand between your legs and help him play with it. Do the unthinkable and be spontaneous, Be Confident and Freaky and don't let your insecurities in the way. As I always say "Under Every Gut Is Some Good Pussy". 

      A Confident Love From Me To You

                     Xoxo, Yanika 

You're Rare, Not Perfect!

There Were Many Times I Would Cry Myself To Sleep Matter Of Fact Millions Of Times Because I Was Unhappy With Who I Was. I Would Cry Because I Wasn't Loved By A Man I Was In Love With, I Would Cry Because I Wished I Wasn't In The Body I Was In Only To Look Like My Favorite Celebrity, I Would Cry Because I Wish I Could Be My Friends & Wish My Family Would Stop Saying "Iam Pretty" & Actually See That I Was In Pain. I Cried & Cried & Cried But No1 Ever Heard Me Until One Day I Couldn't Cry Anymore. I Just Prayed & Had Faith That One Day I Would Be Ok. 

Once I Stopped Wishing To Be Someone Else, Stop Being In Love With Someone That Didn't See My Worth, Once I Stopped Wishing I Could Be My Friends & Wishing To Look Like My Favorite Celebrity As Well As Waiting For My Family To See My Pain, I Found My Confidence But Most Importantly I Found Myself. So My Confident Dolls, Stop Wishing Of Being Someone Else & Just Be YOURSELF! There's Nothing More Special Than Being Your  Actually Self. God Didn't Make No Mistake When He Made You. 

Here I AM Bare & Giving You My All, My Authentic Self & Letting You Know That It's Ok To Be Yourself Despite What Society Or Others May Say. I Still Cry But It's Not Because I Hate The Person That I Am Today, I Cry Because The Sh*t I Went Through Is Now My Testimony To Inspire You To Be Yourself & Love Every Part Of You. 

            A Confident Love From Me To You

                               Xoxo Yanika 

IM No Angel, Confidence Is ME!

For years Full Figured  girls have been labeled as "Not pretty Enough" or better yet not good enough to " Flaunt Our Curves"  On Monday April 6, 2015 Lane Bryant Came and Conquered and Let the whole world know "Curves Are Beautiful". I was on cloud 9 when I saw what they did with their newest campaign called IM NO ANGEL to release their collection of one of my favorite bra CACIQUE ( only bra I wear). The campaign screamed CONFIDENCE, it was bold, daring, and most of all sexy. 

The campaign pictures featured 6 of our well known full- figured models ( Ashley Graham, Marquita spring, Candice Huffine, Victoria Lee, Justine Legault and Elly Mayday) that I adore in white and black. When I first saw the pictures I saw myself, I saw my book cover, I saw 7 beautiful women representing US and letting the world know that we matter, we are worth it and we are beautiful as well. Lane Bryant initiative a celebration for all women around the world that all shape and sizes are beautiful. They redefined societies thoughts of what is beautiful with a powerful message that for years to come will speak volumes. 

IM NO ANGEL, none of us are. We all have FLAWS and none of us are perfect but regardless of anything WE ARE BEAUTIFUL!  For as long as I can remember we were never the topic of conversation because society made it seem as if Full Figured women didn't matter. They made it seem as if we didn't have a voice and I can admit I didn't have one until I started "Confidence Is YOU". 

I was afraid of what others would say and think of me but I knew I wanted to be happy. In order for me to be who I was without pretending and truly be happy with who I was I needed to have a voice. I needed my confidence to speak up loud and let the world know " I May Not Be A Size 2 But Iam Beautiful, Full Figured and Proud. I have cellulite, big thighs, my stomach isn't flat but I love who I am" 

When I started "Confidence Is You", I wanted to empower women to love themselves and not be afraid to be themselves. So what? , If You're Curvy. People fail to realize curvy is beautiful too. For as long as I live Iam going to have a voice and inspire and motivate women to be confident. I don't want anyone to feel how I felt a few years ago, I was at my lowest and it's all because I was afraid of being who I was and be proud to be who I was cellulite, rolls and all. 

So My Confident Dolls, Always know that you are beautiful no matter what society may say. You're one of a kind and there is no one else like you. Love yourself always and remember YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS. BE YOU, BE CONFIDENT! 

    THANK YOU LANE BRYANT!!!

 

(After I Posted My Picture They liked It & Commented On It..Lane Bryant YOU ROCK!) 

  

A Confident Love From Me To You

                Xoxo, Yanika 

Karrauche..... I Was Her!!!

We all made mistakes when it came to love, we all been blinded by love, we all made poor choices when it came to love but does that make us dumb? Does it make us less of a women?  For years Karrueche, a women just like me have been attacked by the media and everyone across the world for being in Love with Chris Brown. Is she wrong for falling in love with him?  Is she wrong with trusting him with her heart over and over again?  Is she wrong for believing everything that he said he wouldn't do? No, she isn't wrong. She believed him,  she trusted him and she loved him in hopes that he would be the man that she dreamed of spending the rest of her life with. 

After watching Karrauche interview with Iyanla Vanzant, I felt her pain, I knew exactly how she was feeling. I've been there, is it somewhere that I thought I would ever be in? No, but I can admit that I believed things would change. For years I gave too many chances instead of walking away knowing my heart didn't deserve the pain it was feeling. Every time he F*cked up, left me in tears and came back with the "Baby, Iam Sorry", I believed him. As much as my heart was hurting, I believed he would change and never hurt me again. I trusted him, I believed that he loved me even after he put his hands on me, even after he would verbally abuse me, even after he cheated, I believed he would change. I wasn't stupid, I knew I deserved better than that but I was blinded by love and believed that one day he would change to the man that I would want him to be. 

That's the issues with us women, when we love...WE LOVE HARD! I can't say all of us because they are some females when they are done, they are done but they are those that believe in second chances as well as having faith that things will get better. I loved him with all of me, he was a bad habit and as much as I tried leaving him, part of me truly believed he would change. 

Karrauche met Chris Brown probably not thinking that she would end up with him for 4 years. She probably didn't think she would fall in love but she did, is she wrong for falling in love with him? No, we fall in love with people everyday. Do we regret falling in love with them when they turned out to be not the person we thought they were? At times yes, but that doesn't mean we are wrong for falling in love with them. 

We live and we learn, we are humans and we can't help how we feel. I don't regret falling in love in the past because it showed me what I truly needed and deserved versus what I wanted. I call all my Exes Experiences because they all thought me something different which I will carry on throughout life and my relationships. I should of been a little smarter but I was naive. I knew my worth but having low self-esteem a few years ago made me believe that no one would accept me and love me for me. 

I wanted to leave so many times and at times I wished I would of left from the very first time I felt that way but once again I believed that he would change to the man I wanted him to be. Karrueche probably felt the same way especially since she is in the public eye and we are all in on her relationship. She believed and she had hope but he just broke all of her promises one by one. I never judged her because I was once her and I probably make a few more mistakes in the future when it comes to love which doesn't mean Iam dumb. I believe people change but this time around I would know what to settle for and what to accept. I won't stay if things get physical or if I lose sense of my worth but I know what I deserve now more than I did back then. 

Does she still love him? Yes, No questions asked but she realized enough is enough. It's but so much a person can take and what hurts is that the dreams of having a family with him is ruin because of him. He took her dreams and stepped on them without having care in the world. I believe Chris do love her but isn't the man for her, he isn't worthy of her love. This is why I always say " you're worthy of love but make sure that person is worthy of your love". 

She isn't dumb, I was once her. She believed, I believed wishing and hoping that they would change. She is brave for sharing her story even if some people don't believe her but it was the first step of closure for her. I know some people wonder why I write about my Ex at times when I don't even care for him but all of the experiences and bullshit I went through with him is now my testimony. I went through hell and back with him and writing helps me but helps others not to do the same mistakes that I did. I don't talk to my EX and Iam very much in love now but I know the pain I went through can help someone not go through the same pain. 

We all make mistakes, but we aren't dumb. Iam tired of seeing other females breaking other females down because they go back to their significant others after something happens. One thing I learned is that the person won't leave the situation until they are ready. You can't force someone to leave the situation they are in, when they are ready they will leave. If they want to go back a million times just be there for them. 

For you My Confident Dolls, all I can say is KNOW YOUR WORTH and don't let anyone take advantage of you. Yes ppl make mistakes but if it's contantly to the point you are losing sense of who you are and the person is sabotaging your worth then I pray that you find the courage to leave one day. Karrauche fought and she prayed but she couldn't help him be the man that she needed and at times it will be that way.  

If you feel it in your heart that it's over and you just want to move on, then do so. Don't lose time in making yourself happy, remember your happiness matters and there is someone praying for someone like you.  It's ok if you were Karrauche at one point or at that point now, You Live & You Learn. You're not dumb, he is dumb for messing up a good thing. 

    

      A Confident Love From Me To You 

                      Xoxo, Yanika