Always Will You Live In My Heart.

Iam so open with you guys about almost everything that happens in my life, today has to be one of the hardest days of my life. 2 weeks ago we found out my dog Marky of 14 years had prostate cancer with not that much time to live since it was severe. At first of course I was hurt when I found out but I said to myself he will be just fine.  I really believed a miracle would of happen that he could stay with us much more longer, fast forward to today at 12:05 am he took his very last breath as we put him to sleep. 

My heart is literally in a million pieces, to some people it may seem as if he was just a " dog" but not to my family and I. He was part of the family, part of our lives for 14 years. He was honestly the little annoying loving brother I always wished for.  Boy oh boy I had my days with Marky to the point I would yell at him especially after him biting me. ( I have scars to prove it) but what's crazy now is that Iam thankful  for those scars because they will be my memory of him. He was such an amazing dog and will bite anyone that tried to hurt us. 14 years ago, my mother decided she wanted a dog not knowing he will be part of our lives. 

He was full of love, full of life and full of joy. I saw how he fought like a soldier these past two weeks to stay with us. He really tried, it seem as if he was afraid to leave us knowing it will hurt us. Some may wonder "Why is this relevant to CIY?". He was part of me and a part of CIY, he was there most of the times right by my side when I was writing the book or writing blogs. He was honestly my best friend, despite the fact he is always going to live in my heart, I physically lost a part of me. 

Marky, my baby I am going to miss you terribly. I going to miss you more than ever, who is going to greet me when I come home? Who is going to sleep with me some nights? Remember our arguments lol, I would tell him to get out of my room and he would bark at me until he got his last word. I swear he was telling me "Don't you be kicking me out my room?" lol. Thinking back as I write this, we had 14 years of amazing memories. I am at peace now knowing that you are no longer suffering and that no matter what and no matter where I am you will always be with me because you will forever live in my heart. 

December 11,2001-December 31, 2015

             Marcus "Marky" Joseph 

You Deserve More Than "I Love You"

You love him but at times you forget that you love yourself more. You would do everything and anything for him to make him happy and to see him smile but would he do the same for you?. My Confident Dolls, repeat after me " I am Worth It & I Deserve It All". At times we tend to settle down with guys just because we don't want to be lonely. A new year is approaching, I rather you be lonely than waste  your time on someone that doesn't even value your worth. You do all of these things for him to recognize you but he isn't even interested looking pass beyond the color of your panties. 

His only interests is getting your p*ssy so wet just to satisfy his d*ck but in the midst of all of this, he whispers "I love you". For that moment your heart start beating happiness not knowing that the next time he answers your calls is when he wants to bust a nut again. Stop letting these  f*ck boys take advantage of you, stop letting them play like you ain't shit. Have you ever thought to yourself that you are BETTER than them. I know some females that have everything going for themselves but they cry each and every night for a dude that's not even on their level. Don't get me wrong, if you have a man that loves you and isn't on your level but working on being on your level, Cool. But to have a man play you as if he is better than you, Not cool. 

You're beautiful, you're smart, you are ambitious and one of God's creation and if a man can't appreciate you and love you for who you are and all of you than he doesn't deserve you. Stop settling because you want to bust a nut from time to time, sh*t if that's the case get your nut off but do you at the same time. We as women forget at times that our p*ssy runs the game. You have the power to do whatever it is that you want to do. You have the power to play him without even him knowing, you can do it. It's not fair that he doesn't see your worth and make you the happiest girl in the world. It's not fair that he plays with your emotions as if it's ok to hurt you. I know you know that you deserve more, trust me it's better D*ck out there. He ain't the only one that will lick your p*ssy in ways that within seconds you climax and besides you need someone that can make you smile, make your heart explode with happiness, elevate your mind and soul and not only your body. 

My Confident Beauty, we both know that you know your worth, and as a new year approaching don't let these f*ck boys play you and take advantage of you as if you're not a queen, as if you don't run sh*t. Don't let a simple "I love you" with no meaning from him unlock your p*ssy. He wants to unlock it, make him live up to your worth. It doesn't take that much to make someone happy. You don't deserve to get hurt, you deserve to be in a relationship with someone that wouldn't trade you for the world. You deserve to be with someone that loves you more than you love yourself. 

You have everything going for yourself but you rather hurt yourself in the process just so you don't feel lonely. Let me tell you something, you want to be in a relationship so bad because all of your friends are cuffed up, well no relationship is perfect. I know mine isn't and I'll be the last one to sugar coat anything. Yes he makes me smile but at times he makes me mad and that's what it is. I will never lie and say my relationship is perfect because truth is it never will be. So stop wishing you had all of these relationship goals just so you don't be by yourself. Know your worth and stop settling for less than what you deserve. Your p*ssy is worth more than an "I Love You". 

A Confident Love From Me To You

                   Xoxo, Yanika 

A Confident Letter From Me To You.

To: My Beautiful & My Confident Doll, 

Iam writing you this letter to remind you of how special you are, I know there are times that you may feel like you're not worth it or your existence isn't important. I've been there, I felt the same way because certain things in my life weren't going as I planned. One thing that I've learned is nothing will go as YOU plan, God plan for you will go as plan. I know at times things aren't going right but that's when you hold on to your faith and believe that everything will be just fine. We all have that moment in our lives when we give up hope, but trust me HOLD ON TO YOUR FAITH & BE HOPEFUL. God wouldn't put you through anything he knew you couldn't handle, know that he gives his toughest battles to his toughest soldiers. Stop doubting yourself, stop thinking you aren't capable of doing what you believe in, stop thinking that you aren't worth it because truth is you are. In a few weeks, it will be a new year which means a brand new beginning. I want you to start packing everything that isn't making you happy, pack it all up. Pack the negativity, the BS, those that aren't meant to be in your life, pack your insecurities, your doubts, pack it all so when January 1st comes, YOU ARE FREE!!!! It's not worth keeping toxic things and most of all people in your life, is ok to let them go so you can live the life that you deserve to live STRESS FREE. Just believe in yourself My Confident Queen & stop doubting yourself. You know what you need to do, you know you got this so why are you thinking otherwise. I want you to be happy as much as you want to be happy because in  all reality YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS THE MOST!!!! Just have Faith & pray about it all. I believe in YOU. 

      A Confident Love From Me To You

                     Xoxo Yanika. 

Women Vs Each Other.

Why are women so mean to one another? I asked myself this question on a daily basis. I just don't understand why it is so hard for another women to uplift and inspire another women like her. Is it a crime, if you do? Women would bring another women down just to feel good about themselves instead of bringing them up. We will break each other down from the texture of our hair, to the man that we are with, the job that we have, how much money we have and even our weight. Why? Why must you feel that you're better than the women beside you because you make more money than her? Why do you think you're more beautiful than her because your waistline is smaller than hers? Oh your man is better than hers because he spoils you so that makes you better than her. 

Why are we finding anything and everything to bring another women down? Does it make you feel good? Does it bring you success? Does it bring you closer to God? What does hating and being mean to another do for you? Instead of bringing each other up to do better and for all of us to succeed, we are kicked down by our sisters  so we can fail. The first time I got bullied, I was 7 years old and it was by a girl in my classroom. She bullied me day after day because of my weight. I was 7 YEARS OLD, I didn't why she was being so mean to me because I was chubby. Yes it hurtled my feelings but my mother taught me not to pay her any mind and for me to continue being the smart, beautiful and caring little girl I was. I couldn't pay it no mind but that's the beginning of me losing my confidence. 

For years I would be put down by other girls because of my weight, it didn't matter if I had a good heart and I was a nice person. They saw what to them was a flaw and used it against me to bring me down. As I said before it took me years to say " F%#k it, Iam worth it and I matter" . I refused to let anyone bring me down. I looked up to my grandmother and my mother of course and some of my inspirations such as Maya Angelou, Oprah and Brandy to remind me that I was great and one day I will make a difference in this world. 

I started "Confidnece Is You" to inspire and empower women to be themselves, to know their worth, to love themselves and to go for what they believed in. I didn't start it to compete with anyone or bring anyone down. I started it because I wanted to use my voice with the hopes that someone, anyone around the world would be inspired by me. Years laters, it warms my heart when I receive a message from one of my confident dolls telling me how much I inspired them. It brings me the ultimate joy and inspires me to continue with what Iam doing. 

Don't you know if we all inspired one another, we will all succeed. The power of being a women is special, we have the power to run the world and be great and we can to that together without bringing each other down. We have the same thing between our legs so why hate? I won't lie when I had low self esteem, I used to envy girls with confidence but once I realize that I can be just as confident as them them I realized that I spent my time being envious when I could of just reached within me and pull my confident out. See that's the problem, we hate and envy other females doing it because we feel that we aren't capable of achieving what they have accomplished. 

We can do it all, you just have to believe in yourself and stop doubting yourself. Stop being so hateful and envious of another female not only doing it but PERIOD!!!!! I just want all of us to get along, inspire, motivate and empower each other to do better, be better and become better. Stop bringing other females just like you down to prove a point or make yourself feel better. It's not worth it, next time you want to bring another female down, uplift her instead. Confidence Isn't Just YOU, IT'S US!!!!!! 

     

   A Confident Love From Me To You 

                      Xoxo, Yanika