Thursday, June 16, 2016

The Wait


Have you ever thought to yourself that maybe if you wait actually forget the maybe but if you actually wait for the one that is meant for you, he will come to you? I know being in love, being cared for and being appreciated by someone who truly admires you and cherish you for all of you is something special. I know being the single one and watching those around you in love and being happy isn't always fun but you have to be patient and believe that one day you will be in love. Stop doubting yourself and believe you are worthy for someone being in love with you  besides yourself. 

For some women, I believe the reason why you doubt someone loving you is because you lack loving yourself. How can someone else love you if you don't love yourself? I had to learn that myself, I wrote this many times about my past relationship that left me broken mentally and emotionally. After I finally found the strength that always knew I had to leave  I truly believed that I wasn't worthy of being loved, I believed that I will never fall in love again. I had put it in my mind that I would be single for the rest of myself because all these men that I gave a piece of me didn't appreciate me. They would say "you're good enough" but I wasn't good enough for them. I didn't understand it at first, I just felt that I wasn't good enough for anyone and no matter what I did for someone to appreciate all of me, I always ended being hurt. 


It took awhile for me to tell myself, "You're Worth It", it was the truth and I needed to stop thinking otherwise. I had to take time to fall in love with myself, build my confidence, and truly believe that I was worth it. I also took time to not search for anyone to appreciate me, I prayed about it and gave it to God. I knew at the right time, someone that is worth having me will find me. For 2 years I took time for myself, I was dating but it wasn't nothing  serious. I dated him, My HIM which I knew since I was a teen. I didn't think of nothing serious, to me it was about having a good time with him. 
                      (My HIM & I) 

He was everything that I needed but in my mind I kept telling myself in due time he will show his true colors and be just like those idiots I dated in the past. He was patient with me, he was patient with me taking the time that I needed to actually believe in love again. He healed my heart despite it being in millions of pieces, he did everything to see me smile. I know at times I showed as if I didn't appreciate him but I was just scared. I waited until I knew it was the right time and it was time for me to actually give him a chance. I didn't rush into it but after 2 years I knew it was time. 


I gave him a chance and My Confident Dolls, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't Thank God for him. I was patient, I took time to grow, learn more about myself, fall in love with myself, build my confidence up but most of all knowing my  worth. I know for sure that waiting and taking the time for myself was exactly what I needed for myself. If I never had taken that time to wait for the one for me, trust me I would of still been getting hurt by these idiots that doesn't value a women worth. 

I know it's hard especially when you know that. you're worth, you ask yourself "Why Me?" But take this time to know that it isn't time yet for you for the person God has designed just for you. Have you thought about that? Think about it, you're so busy worrying about "Why", take time to say" Not now but 1 DAY". I know it's not easy, I use to wonder why so much that I just got into situations that I wasn't happy in. You can't rush what is meant for you, you have to be patient and just believe that your love will find you when it's the time. 


I don't want you to read this and say "This will never be my story", keep doubting yourself and it won't be your story. You have to keep on loving who you are, being patient with the person you want to become and always keep in mind no matter what that you are indeed worth it because you are. Take the necessary time that you need for the love that you deserve to find you instead of dealing with situations that aren't even making smile. Trust and believe in me, waiting for what is meant for you is better because who is meant for you will be what God has plan for you. 

I waited and Iam thankful for all of the BS that I went through, all of the hurt, the broken hearts and lies because it made me the women that I am today and made me appreciate the love that I have. I waited for someone to love me and appreciate all of me flaws and all. I waited for someone that would motivate me, push me, inspire me to do better in life. I waited for someone that wanted to build with me, grow with me and not just wanted to live in the moment. 
 
In my past relationships these dudes didn't even want to do anything else besides hurt me but the one that I have now travels the world with me, listen to my stories even though they are boring, watch lifetime movies with me because he knows those are my favorite movies to watch. When I say I am blessed with an amazing man, Thank You God. We had our moments but our moments made us stronger so Be Patient, Have Faith & WAIT until your special someone finds you. 


To My Love On Our 3rd Year Anniversary Which Is Today (6/17)......I may have loved the wrong people, cried for the wrong people in the past but those wrong people helped me WAIT for the one that was meant for me. One thing is for certain I don't regret a single thing in my life that brought me to this point. All of it was worth it due to the fact that it brought me to you 3yrs ago Today ( Officially). Love is a hard task but most of all it's realizing that every hour, every minute and every second of it was worth it because we did it together. Happy Anniversary MJ , I Love You So Much, Cheers To Many More To Come. 

            

    A Confident Love From Me To You
                    Xoxo, Yanika 


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