ALWAYS KNOW YOUR WORTH!!!!!

As women we know exactly what we want and what we need. We say we want a guy to treat us like the queen we are, spoil us, be kind to us, care and love us how we are suppose to be treated. That's what we want and that's what we deserve. But for me  It took years to realize that I was worth more than what I actually was receiving. I was giving but not getting nothing in return but heartbreaks and lies. My first real boyfriend was in HS, I was a freshman and he was a sophomore. We made it official at the end of the year, everything was good. It sounds crazy but he knew how to treat a girl. He was very kind to me and really did everything to see me smile. He treated me exactly how I should be treated but I was young and  I didn't want to have such a commitment. I wanted to hang out with my friends after school and on the weekends, I didn't always want to be with him all the time. So we didn't last as long as I thought we would of but hey 11 years later we are best friends now. After my relationship with him I was single for a long time, I really wanted to enjoy being young and free. And then one day I met someone, I didn't think of it as something serious but it turned out to be. In the beginning of course it was good but I would say 6 months into it  things changed. I knew certain things wasn't normal such as us not going out in public, not being able to go to his house, it was a few clues indeed. I knew it wasn't right but I had already liked him so much. As time went on and the deeper I was falling for him I knew it would be hard for me to leave him. He would do things I wasn't proud of leading me to cry every chance I was alone. I wanted to let it go but I couldn't. My insecurities was getting in the way of  making me think I wasn't enough for someone else  to appreciate me for who I was. I let the relationship take over me and break me down mentally. I stayed, we break up, get back together and I stayed even longer than before. He put me through hell, once again I knew I deserved better but I stayed. He was my drug and I needed him knowing it wasn't good for me. Until one day, 5 years later I Know 5 years later he did the unthinkable which left me numb, my heart broken in a million pieces and my mind blank. I knew that night,at that very moment  I was too good for him and deserved so much more. It was my time to let him go and I did, it was hard. I felt into a deep depression,  I needed my confidence, I needed to find my worth, I needed to find myself. It took awhile for me to get back into the grove of things but slowly and surely I was back to being myself again. I felt better and I just wanted to focus on me which I did. I was going to school and I was working, I wasn't interested in no one. But I had my needs so I started talking to someone that had my attention. In my mind it was sex only, no feelings and hardly no communication. I didn't want to be back in the deep black hole I was in, my guard was up so high. In the beginning it was fun, he made me laugh. He was my friend first then my lover, it was just a few conversations then sex and then a simple see you next time. It went on for months but the more time I spent with him, the more I was falling for him. I knew it wouldn't work, I knew it wouldn't be a fairy tale ending. A few months went by again and I kept saying to myself, IT'S JUST SEX while my heart was like Girl Wake Up. Did I wake up?! Nope, I was all in and what's so crazy he made me think he was all in as well then boom we hit our 2 year mark. Yes still as lovers and friends. Until he told me the truth but it was too late. At that moment I said I wouldn't settle anymore and I would just wait for someone to find me that is worth my love. I couldn't allow my heart to feel anything else besides love. I loved myself more than anyone in the world at this point and it was time I took care of me. It was also time I received the same love I was giving to others. As I said " Never Allow A Man To Be Your Downfall or Your Weakness, Know Your Worth". When you are in love sometimes you are blind and allow the things they do to continue because you are blinded by it. If you're worth it to him, he will make you smile, pay attention to you and he will do anything necessary that he can to keep you by his side. It's That Simple!!! Some Dudes Will Have The Perfect Girl, Say She's Worth It But Do Everything He Isn't Suppose To Do To Lose Her. This Is Why My Confident Dolls, I Always Tell You To Know Your Worth & Never Settle. If He Isn't Being Consistent With Keeping A Smile On Your Face & Giving You The Attention You Deserve. LET HIM GO!!!! I Let Guys Be My Weakness & My Downfall Because I Loved Them & I Wanted Them To Love Me Back. So Ladies When He Hurts You, Lies To You, Mistreat You, Isn't There For You & Isn't Loving You The Way You're Suppose To Be Loved.ONCE AGAIN LET HIM GO!!!! You Deserve The Moon & The Stars, You Deserve To Be Treated Like A Queen & Be Appreciated. If or When He Comes Trying To Get You Back, Remember Your Worth It!!! Remember What You Deserve. Remember That You Are A Queen & You Deserve The World. I Knew I Deserved  More But My Weakness For These Guys Took Over My  Worth, Don't Let It Happen To You. Don't Waste Your Time On Someone That Isn't Doing What's Necessary To Keep You. If He Wants You, Trust & Believe His Actions Will Match Your Worth. Now I can look back and call my experience lessons learned, I had to go through a couple frogs for the right one to find me. I can say now at this very moment Iam happy and I am being treated like the queen I am. I don't know if it will last forever but Iam loving every second we share and if you ask me I would love for it to last forever. If you don't have your Prince Charming just yet, be patient he will find you. You're worth it & you're amazing, Love will find you. 

Confident Love From Me To You

                      Xoxo, Yanika