Letter To My Broken Heart.

To Whom It May Concern: 

As much as you don't want to cry, it hurts. You start thinking of all the good times you guys shared so you don't have to cry. The truth is the memories you shared with him isn't going to heal this heart that is breaking silently into pieces. You trusted him, you believed in him, you put your guard down and gave him all of you with promises that he will never hurt you.  You're scared but you know your worth. As you tell your best friend  how much you love him, part of you is wondering if he is even in love with you anymore. You think of your past and how you shared it with him so you don't have to repeat it in the future with him. Without him even knowing you're taking steps back into your past. The tears start flowing, your heart is beating fast. There goes the pain that he promised he won't ever make you feel. Was it you? What did you do wrong? Millions of questions is flowing though your mind, none of them you have the answers to. What went wrong?. You did everything you could for this to work, your heart is aching from knowing reality is that this is over. How can something you believed in and put your whole heart and soul into be over. How? Why? Is it really over?. Long nights of telling him your fears and how scared you are to put your guard down, only for him to say "Trust Me".  You trusted him, "I fucking trusted you", you yell. All of the dreams you envision to share with him are now out the window. Why? How? You know you guys can make it but is it worth it. You love him entirely with your whole being, your first love and the best you ever had but the memories won't be enough for you to hold on. Your heart is aching, the tears are flowing. Does he even care? His pride won't let him show it. You don't want to give up but his actions are telling you to do otherwise. You come first and as much as it hurts, you have to do what's best for you. One day it will all make sense and that's when he will realize how much of something great he lost.  You trusted him, and all he gave you was broken promises and a broken heart. How? Why? You will never know, all you will do is pray and move on. 

Love, Self 

    A Confident Love From Me To You

                      Xoxo Yanika