A Love Worth The Fight....Inspired By Sue Tsai

Relationships aren't easy and no one is perfect. You will go through your ups and downs being in a relationship with someone but if you believe in your heart that the person is worth the fight then fight for the love you deserve. At times you will go through situations that you believe won't make things perfect again but when you love each other and want the same thing for each other with each other than things will get back to how it was before. 

I must say not all relationships are worth the fight, as a women you should know if it's worth the fight. At times we stay in situations where we know it's not worth it but because of your low self confidence and you think no one else would appreciate and love you the way it's suppose to be, you settle for less than what you deserve. I know I did, it was a waste of time. I knew he wasn't the one for me but I kept telling myself no one would appreciate me for me and I stayed. I knew my worth and I knew I deserved better but I prayed things will get better and it never did so time went on and I wasted YEARS  with someone who wasn't even worth the fight. 

At the end of the day, you  know what you deserve and you know your worth so never settle for less than what you deserve. Always know that you are worthy of being loved by someone that will appreciate the queen that you are. Don't fight for something that isn't reciprocated. The only way a love will be worth fighting for is if you both fight for it. You can't be Holyfield fighting by yourself. That's how I felt, I was fighting for a love that didn't mean anything to him. 

You have to know within yourself, if this is worth it. In my current relationship now, we went through our ups and downs and I know we will go through more ups and down in the future but the BS we went through in the past 3 years wasn't worth giving up on us. We both knew that our love for one another wouldn't let it  break us apart. I knew in my heart, he was worth the fight and he made believe it was worth it as well. You have to put your happiness first and know that you are worth it. So if you feel that you deserve more than I say fight to do what's best for you. 

So many people give up on love so easily, they have an argument and it's a wrap. They don't care anymore just like that but wasn't you just telling them "I love you". Love isn't a game, no one should be playing games when it comes to love. It's either you with it or not but don't waste someone else's time because you feel it's a game. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME OR ANYONE ELSE'S. 

We all deserve to love and to be loved, I truly believe there is someone out there for everybody. Don't settle for anyone that isn't making you happy but if that person is making you happy, don't give up if it's worth the fight. Just keep in mine that you are worth the fight but don't fight the battle alone. 

  A Confident Love From Me To You

                 Xoxoxo, Yanika 

Confident FITNESS Is YOU.

Hello My Confident Dolls,

Iam NOT a fitness expert, but I am someone that struggles with losing weight. Over the years, I’ve started over a dozen diets so why do I still have this stomach? Why isn’t it flat yet?. Don’t get me wrong I LOVE MYSELF but I refused to be a hypocrite as if  I LOVE EVERY INCH OF ME because truth is this stomach of mines I can’t stand. YES CONFIDENCE IS ME but I just can’t stand to look at my stomach without rolling my eyes. Yes, I wear crop tops from time to time, Yes, I don’t care what anyone has to say about me and Yes, I have a man that rubs it on a daily basis but I HATE MY STOMACH. No one is perfect  and even your favorite celebrity have insecurities as well and also hate something on their body so don’t get it twisted just be true to YOURSELF. 

It's not easy losing weight because if it was so many people wouldn’t be getting all of these weight loss surgeries so quickly to lose weight. NO SHADE, DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FOR YOU. Iam just saying if losing weight was easy I would of not only got rid of  this stomach of mines but I wouldn’t have to start a new diet every 4-6 months. The crazy thing about it is when I do what I have to do, I lose weight. I know I can do it, I did it before but I get bored eating salad and fruits on a daily basis and shit so I have something Iam not suppose to have such as fried chicken and cajun rice (SooOoO GoOd) but anyways I tell myself “Oh its just for today” and today turns to a week, 2 weeks and then before you know, I done fucked up. 

So I know what Iam doing wrong, I know my flaws when it comes to losing weight but enough is enough. I don’t even tell myself it's a diet anymore, I tell myself this is my HEALTHY JOURNEY. Iam not getting any younger before you know it in just 5 months I’ll be 31 years old, I can’t keep doing what Iam doing to my body and most importantly to my health. I want to have children one day and I don’t want to FAIL them due to my weight, some people may ask how will I fail them? If they want me to play with them and it consist me of running, I don’t want to be out of breath telling them “ Mommy can’t do it” that's how. It’s not easy but I know I have to do it for myself more than anything, I can’t continue feeling the way that I feel, I want to love EVERY INCH OF MY BODY including my STOMACH and actually mean it. 

So August 1st is when my journey will begin, IAM READY!! Iam telling myself I have to do it because Iam MENTALLY prepared to do it. My confident dolls, it is VERY important to be mentally ready when starting a diet because if you’re not, YOU WILL FAIL! It has to be something that you are ready for and prepare yourself for. As I mention before, LOSING WEIGHT IS NOT EASY but IT’s NOT IMPOSSIBLE. You can do it, I can do it and WE will all do it. It may get hard, truth is it will be hard but nothing is too hard to accomplish, everything in life is possible to achieve as long as we work hard for it. 

You’re not a failure, so don’t think that way. Stop wishing to be someone else, just know that everyday is an opportunity to become better and do great things. So together, WE WILL DO IT. As I said before, Iam not a personal trainer, a fitness expert, or a doctor but I know THE REAL STRUGGLES that you go through when it comes to losing weight. I won’t sugar coat anything because I want you to succeed, when you want something more than ever to accomplish your goals, you would make sacrifices to achieve them. You will have many moments where you will find yourself asking “ Why Me?, Why did I have to be fat”, Why is it so hard to lose weight?” How did she lose weight?” and a million more questions will come to mind, but just know IT IS NOW you will do WHAT’s BEST FOR YOU.

So let's get started, I will be doing this challenge for myself for the next 60 DAYS! From August 1st- October 1st. This isn’t a diet for me so I won’t call it that, this is will be my lifestyle from now on. I have to make the proper changes for me to excel and keep on excelling for the near future. Iam not telling you to do the whole 60 days with me, if you want to do it then of course you can. I just want to give you some steps, LOTS OF MOTIVATION and INSPIRE you to keep going no matter how hard it gets. 

READY, SET, GO

> No ALCOHOL..Oh I know it's hard to not have a drink from time to time but do you know alcohol can consume up to 1,000 calories PER DRINK!  I remember cutting out alcohol for 2 months and I lost a lot of  weight. Iam not saying you can't have a drink, you can but you better work your ass off the next day. I prefer you don't drink alcohol at all but if you have one drink, I won't be mad at you. 

>No Juice/Soda..Yeah Juice is good and there is nothing like a cold Pepsi but NO NO NO...I can't allow you to have a drink and juice/soda as well so NO. 

>No Sweets/Junk Food.. Say "see you later" to all of that BS. No candy, no chips or cookies, NO TO FAST FOOD such as McDonald's, Chinese Food, Popeyes etc. 

>Water ONLY ( A Gallon A Day).. yes I know you are going to be in and out the bathroom but you got this and you will get some more steps in for the day. WATER WATER WATER will be your new best friend. 

>Only WHEAT bread, pasta and rice.. ONLY WHEAT, to some wheat is nasty but cook it in a way you will enjoy it. 

>LOTS of fruits and Vegetables.. Hello to your other two best friends, FRUITS AND VEGETABLES. 

> 3 Meals ( breakfast, lunch and Dinner) with 2 snacks ( One between breakfast and lunch and one between lunch and dinner) It can be fruits, nuts, a yogurt (anything on the healthy side). 

This is just  the basics, those that actually  joined  the challenge will be emailed the actual Confident Fitness Plan. 

       A Confident Love From Me To You

                     Xoxo~ Yanika   

Reflecting While In Mexico

It's been a week since I've been back from one of the best trips that I have ever been to with my mother, sister, boyfriend and my sister's boyfriend to Cancun, Mexico. As I prepared to go on this trip I wanted to do a lot of thinking and put things into perspective so when I get back to NY I can do everything that my heart desires. Life is a journey and at times things happen that makes you question, Why Me? Or will it ever work out in my favor? 

Don't get me wrong Iam content with my life, I can honestly say that I am happy. I've been through a lot in my life but right now at this very moment, I am exactly who I want to be and that right there is a lot due to once living my life not being myself at all and the great thing about being who I am, Iam also giving myself room to grow. Each and everyday we have the opportunity to become better and improve who we are, so why give up that opportunity? 

You may not be where you want to be in life but you can't give up. You have to keep moving no matter how hard it gets. I know when things isn't working in your favor, it can be frustrating. One thing that keeps me going no matter what is PRAYER. As I mentioned before in previous posts, PRAYER HEALS ALL! God wouldn't put you in any situations that he knew you couldn't overcome, it's a reason why he put you there just have faith in him and know that better and bigger things it's on it's way for you. 

I reflected a lot about where I want to be in my life, I know what I want to accomplish but at times I doubt myself. I have an amazing brand which I know God put in my life as my ultimate blessings. Here is an example, I went through hell and back which I talk about a lot and I used to always ask God, Why must I go through all the bullshit that Iam going through? But it was clear to me that I went through the things I went  through not only to become who I was meant to be but to help others in the process. Confidence Is You literally saved my life, this is why I have to keep going and never give up on it because I know I have thousands of more people that I can help with as in finding  their confidence, loving themselves and become exactly who they want to be and not being afraid to do so. 

I know Iam capable of accomplishing all of my dreams and goals and doing exactly what makes me happy. I don't know why at times we doubt ourselves of course we are all afraid of failing but with every ending, it comes a new beginning. If we don't try, we will never succeed. I needed to clear my mind, put things into perspective  and tell myself that the time is now, tomorrow isn't promise to anyone. The night before I left to go on my trip, I received the worst phone call ever, a phone call I never wanted to receive, a piece of my heart, someone I loved passed away. I never imagined that I would lose my friend of 16 years but just like that at 29 years old, she passed away. It was as if she told me as I was on my trip "Live your life  and do what makes you happy". 

This was someone that wasn't afraid of anything and didn't care about anyone opinion, she did as she pleased and what made her happy. So I can't continue living this life and not being who I am destined/meant to be as well as not doing what makes me happy or not going for everything that I want. I want to live a life that I want and I deserve without any regrets. I want to be a better person not only for myself but for my love ones as well. I want to be able to do everything I desire to do and not being afraid to do so. Life is a roller coaster and no matter what we must enjoy the ride. A roller coaster never stops, it always keeps going so keep in mind no matter what it is that you are going through, YOU HAVE TO KEEP GOING!!! 

 

(My Family & I stayed at the Hyatt Zilara in Cancun, I must say it was worth it. I gave this resort 5 stars, I would definitely go back there in the near future.)

       

             RIP Marquette Watson 

        A Confident Love From Me To You

                      Xoxo, Yanika 

Stay Still, Have Faith....God Is In Control.

For the past two weeks I've been going through a roller coaster of emotions from being frustrated, hurt, worry to having millions of  thoughts running through my mind. Some days are better than others but what I know for certain is that these emotions that I am feeling won't last forever and I can't allow them to break me. I have to remain strong and continue having faith. I know it's hard to keep a smile on your face and tell yourself everything is going to be just fine when you're feeling as if your world is coming to an end. 

You just have to keep in mind that you're stronger than what you think you are. You're praying that things get better but as the days goes by, you still feel the same way. Trust me, I know it's not easy and then you start losing faith. You can't lose faith, you have to believe in God. He is in control and he wouldn't put you through anything that wouldn't make you better and stronger with a greater blessing at the end of it all. As days goes on, I see a lesson to what Iam going through. Keep in mind everything you go through, there is a lesson to be taught. Of course I don't want to go through these emotions but there's a reason and I have to be strong enough for myself and be still. 

Of course my emotions made me come out of character but that was the devil trying to get the best of me. A little while after I prayed and realized that God has my back and I know that he wouldn't make me suffer without a reason. Of course now I don't fully understand why I am going through these emotions that I didn't even wish for but in due time I will know but I have to hold on strong to my faith. 

So whatever it is that you may be going through, Don't give up. Hold on tight to your faith and keep telling yourself "Everything will be just fine". It may not seem that way right now because you are feeling the way that you are feeling but in due time you will see that the emotions and whatever it is that you are going through is only temporary. Greater and bigger things awaits you but you just have to hold on to your faith and believe that things will get better. Trust in God and keep in mind that you are blessed beyond measures. 

Don't let anything tear you down, fix your crown and trust your faith. SMILE, Don't worry!!! For you and I, I'll pray because one day everything that we are going through are going to be" Remember that time" but look at me now, Thank You God. Hold on to your faith, stay still, pray  and know your worth. 

      A Confident Love From Me To You. 

                     Xoxo, Yanika 

The Wait

Have you ever thought to yourself that maybe if you wait actually forget the maybe but if you actually wait for the one that is meant for you, he will come to you? I know being in love, being cared for and being appreciated by someone who truly admires you and cherish you for all of you is something special. I know being the single one and watching those around you in love and being happy isn't always fun but you have to be patient and believe that one day you will be in love. Stop doubting yourself and believe you are worthy for someone being in love with you  besides yourself. 

For some women, I believe the reason why you doubt someone loving you is because you lack loving yourself. How can someone else love you if you don't love yourself? I had to learn that myself, I wrote this many times about my past relationship that left me broken mentally and emotionally. After I finally found the strength that always knew I had to leave  I truly believed that I wasn't worthy of being loved, I believed that I will never fall in love again. I had put it in my mind that I would be single for the rest of myself because all these men that I gave a piece of me didn't appreciate me. They would say "you're good enough" but I wasn't good enough for them. I didn't understand it at first, I just felt that I wasn't good enough for anyone and no matter what I did for someone to appreciate all of me, I always ended being hurt. 

It took awhile for me to tell myself, "You're Worth It", it was the truth and I needed to stop thinking otherwise. I had to take time to fall in love with myself, build my confidence, and truly believe that I was worth it. I also took time to not search for anyone to appreciate me, I prayed about it and gave it to God. I knew at the right time, someone that is worth having me will find me. For 2 years I took time for myself, I was dating but it wasn't nothing  serious. I dated him, My HIM which I knew since I was a teen. I didn't think of nothing serious, to me it was about having a good time with him. 

                      (My HIM & I) 

He was everything that I needed but in my mind I kept telling myself in due time he will show his true colors and be just like those idiots I dated in the past. He was patient with me, he was patient with me taking the time that I needed to actually believe in love again. He healed my heart despite it being in millions of pieces, he did everything to see me smile. I know at times I showed as if I didn't appreciate him but I was just scared. I waited until I knew it was the right time and it was time for me to actually give him a chance. I didn't rush into it but after 2 years I knew it was time. 

I gave him a chance and My Confident Dolls, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't Thank God for him. I was patient, I took time to grow, learn more about myself, fall in love with myself, build my confidence up but most of all knowing my  worth. I know for sure that waiting and taking the time for myself was exactly what I needed for myself. If I never had taken that time to wait for the one for me, trust me I would of still been getting hurt by these idiots that doesn't value a women worth. 

I know it's hard especially when you know that. you're worth, you ask yourself "Why Me?" But take this time to know that it isn't time yet for you for the person God has designed just for you. Have you thought about that? Think about it, you're so busy worrying about "Why", take time to say" Not now but 1 DAY". I know it's not easy, I use to wonder why so much that I just got into situations that I wasn't happy in. You can't rush what is meant for you, you have to be patient and just believe that your love will find you when it's the time. 

I don't want you to read this and say "This will never be my story", keep doubting yourself and it won't be your story. You have to keep on loving who you are, being patient with the person you want to become and always keep in mind no matter what that you are indeed worth it because you are. Take the necessary time that you need for the love that you deserve to find you instead of dealing with situations that aren't even making smile. Trust and believe in me, waiting for what is meant for you is better because who is meant for you will be what God has plan for you. 

I waited and Iam thankful for all of the BS that I went through, all of the hurt, the broken hearts and lies because it made me the women that I am today and made me appreciate the love that I have. I waited for someone to love me and appreciate all of me flaws and all. I waited for someone that would motivate me, push me, inspire me to do better in life. I waited for someone that wanted to build with me, grow with me and not just wanted to live in the moment. 

 

In my past relationships these dudes didn't even want to do anything else besides hurt me but the one that I have now travels the world with me, listen to my stories even though they are boring, watch lifetime movies with me because he knows those are my favorite movies to watch. When I say I am blessed with an amazing man, Thank You God. We had our moments but our moments made us stronger so Be Patient, Have Faith & WAIT until your special someone finds you. 

To My Love On Our 3rd Year Anniversary Which Is Today (6/17)......I may have loved the wrong people, cried for the wrong people in the past but those wrong people helped me WAIT for the one that was meant for me. One thing is for certain I don't regret a single thing in my life that brought me to this point. All of it was worth it due to the fact that it brought me to you 3yrs ago Today ( Officially). Love is a hard task but most of all it's realizing that every hour, every minute and every second of it was worth it because we did it together. Happy Anniversary MJ , I Love You So Much, Cheers To Many More To Come. 

            

    A Confident Love From Me To You

                    Xoxo, Yanika 

Failing Isn't Part Of Who You Are!

In life you will be faced with many obstacles but what I've learned over the years is that no matter what that comes your way, you can't give up in what you believe in. I went through so much in my life which broke me down emotionally, mentally and physically but looking back everything I went through made me the women I am today so I wouldn't change a thing. We all make plans for our lives, I thought by 30 I would be married with children living in my dream house with 5 books on the best seller list but that's not how my life turned out and Iam not complaining at all. See the thing we fail to realize at times it that God is the only that can plan out our lives and with every battle that we are faced with, we have to know that many more blessings will come our way. 

Education was always a key to me, I love school but with many obstacles coming my way I gave up on school many times. Those times I gave up on myself, I just didn't believe in myself. Everything in my life wasn't going as I planned and I felt going back to school was a waste of time. I felt this way for awhile until I started believing myself and knew if I pushed through I would accomplish yet another goal in my life. One thing is for sure when you believe in yourself, Magic Happens! I went back to school and told myself no matter what obstacles came my way I will accomplish my goal.

I was giving myself so many excuses such as Iam too old, it will be too hard just excuses after excuses. How are you able to succeed if you doubt yourself more than you believe in yourself? We set so many goals for ourselves but once it starts too get difficult we feel that we can't do it, we give up. Remember FAILURE isn't part of who you are, You have to BELIEVE in yourself and make it happen. When I felt that it was too much for me, I took a deep breath, prayed about it and remembered I have a goal to reach. 

After taking years off of school just because of the excuses I was given myself, I went back to school and knew one day I would accomplish this goal of receiving my Bachelors and on June 2,2016, I achieved my goal.  It wasn't easy and I went through a few obstacles which I didn't allow to break me and make me lose focus. I stayed strong and I knew that one day it will all be worth it. I even accomplished self publishing my book in December 2014 while being in school. This is why I say all the time IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING!!!! You can achieve anything you put your mind into, just by starting by giving up on the excuses you have to make you doubt yourself. 

What is it that you want to achieve? I know there is something that you think you can't accomplish, STOP thinking this way and know that anything that you put your mind into you CAN and you WILL achieve. MAKE THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE!!!

   A Confident Love From Me To You

                   Xoxo, Yanika 

TayJa...We Are All Queens!

When will it stop? As in breaking each other down instead of uplifting one another. We live in a world where no matter what YOU ARE BEING JUDGED!. You can't even walk down the block without someone saying something about you. Why can't someone be exactly who they want to be without worrying about someone saying something negative about them. If you're skinny, they say "She needs to gain weight". If you're fat, they say "She needs to lose weight". If your hair is natural and you are embracing it, it's an issue for some because they feel that you would  be much prettier if your hair was permed. They will even say something about your height, but when will the negative comments about others, the bullying and the breaking each other down stop? 

I pray each and everyday that we can all be treated the same without no comparison. Why is it so hard for us to love one other and be there for one another? I don't care who the person is, I don't care if I don't know them, I love everyone and I treat everyone with respect. It brings me nothing but joy when I inspire and motivate others to love themselves, know their worth & to be exactly who they want to be. I always say Iam beyond grateful that I took my struggles of not loving myself, having low-self esteem and no confidence at all to inspire others to do otherwise. 

On Sunday, May 1st to be exact I had enough, I had a breakdown and just couldn't take the pain I was feeling. This beautiful girl name TayJa posted a picture of her going to prom which is one of the most important nights of her life and social media turned it to be a night she will never forget but in a such a cruel and negative way to where she said "I wish I never went to prom". I first seen the picture on Facebook and the comments literally broke me down, I was beyond pissed off. I seen comments such as  "you should of never went to prom", "you're too big for that dress", "you look ridiculous". It was over 1,000 comments and 50% of them were negative. Immediately I posted her picture on IG with a caption to reassure her that she is beautiful, she matter, she's worth it and not to allow any of those negative comments break her down. Then I told all of my confident dolls to tag her and write her a positive message as well. As Queens it is important that we uplift our Queens and be there for them. Over 100 of you wrote to her and that right there meant the world to me. 

TayJa Jones Banks, A Beautiful Queen 

I didn't start "Confidence Is You" as a little part time activity, I started it to inspire women to be confident and most of all themselves. There was a point in my life where I hated myself, I literally have scars to show that I was trying to take my own life away. I didn't want to be an outkast or live in a world where I didn't  have a voice. I wanted to start a movement that no matter what Iam here for you to remind you that "Confidence Is You". 

I know that people will always have something to say about somebody else but I can pray and have a voice to make a difference. Our young Queens need us as well as our kings, we have to be there to be an example to them. Over 1,000 people reached out to TayJa as well as celebrities to tell her that she was indeed beautiful and to shut everyone that had something negative to say about her.

We saved her life, you don't know what could of been going on in her mind and we gave someone else confidence that was scared of going to their prom due to their size but now they will know "No one can take MY shine away from Me"

I just want us to love each other, uplift each other and be there for one another. I know people will always have negative comments to say but don't be one of them. Always be a positive and shining light to someone in their lives. Be an example and apread nothing but love and positivity. 

        A Confident Love From Me To You

                     Xoxo, Yanika