Are you afraid of getting your heartbroken again?! As for me Iam terrified, the pain that I went through is something I NEVER EVER want to feel again. When your heart is cramping over and over again because the one you thought was the one broke it into millions of pieces without caring. Looking back now Iam thankful I went through what I went through because not only did it help me become a stronger person, it made me realize he wasn't the one for me. Despite me learning from the situation, I still didn't deserve the pain I went through and I still wouldn't want to feel that pain again. Even tho now years later Iam in a relationship and my heart is healed with his love, Iam still scared. No relationship is perfect, neither is Beyoncé and Jay-Z relationship. Trust me they go through their ish in the midst of surfboarding and making music. NO RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT, you will have your ups and downs with your significant other.
My boyfriend and I have our moments but what makes us better is not only the love we have for one another is communication as well. Communication is the number 1 key in any relationship, if you can't express how you feel and tell him what's on your mind then that relationship isn't for you. I was afraid to communicate in the past due to getting shut down every time I tried to say a word in my last relationship. So when I started my new relationship I had a fear but my boyfriend said how can we make things better if we don't talk. He was so right, so when I feel a way vice Versa we talk no matter what. But I won't lie to you, I still have fears of getting shut down but that's when I remember he isn't the one who broke my heart.
Ever wanted to do something for your significant other and you start thinking about what you used to do for your EX and then you think about how he hurt you so you fear to do anything nice for the one you're with now. If you feel this way, your significant other can't suffer for what your EX did to you. You have to let that go, the past is the past and your Ex is in the past. Yes I understand he hurt you and your heart was broken but your heart has healed since then. You can't let what you are capable of doing and being the good woman that you are because of the past. Let It Go!!! Stop being selfish, you have an amazing man and you're afraid of showing him all the possibilities he has with you. Being afraid of showing him how amazing you are each and everyday because of the fear you have of getting hurt will make him walk away. One thing I tell myself all the time, yes my heart was broken but it has healed again. I know that if I am faced with another broken heart I know in due time it will heal again. It's part of life, you live and you learn.
As I always say if something happens between you and the person you love don't think you aren't worth it or it's your fault. It just didn't work out, but don't stop being the loving person that you are because of the broken heart you feel or felt. As much as Iam in love now it's still a part of me which I call reality that reminds me things happen. It's not being negative or thinking negative, it's being realistic. I know you've been with someone you thought you would spend the rest of your life with, Are you with them now?! Maybe not, so you always have to keep in mind that things happen but that doesn't mean once again you aren't worth it.
Stop being so scared, stop having a fear that he will hurt you and show him as well as give him the love and affection which he deserves. Iam spoiled and I have my ways and at times if I don't get my way I have an attitude. My mind won't think positive about the situation because that little fear of getting hurt again pops up in my head. Here is an example, last week I came back from Canada and I wanted to see my boyfriend. I didn't see him the day I got back, I didn't stress it but the next two days I did to the point I started crying. I know, I know you're probably wondering why. He didn't do anything at all, but I was sad as well as annoyed. I gave him an attitude but I never took the time to ask him why I didn't see him. When I did he said he just been working extra hours and he is tired. Instead of understanding, I flipped. Then the next day while talking to my mother, she said "you can't do that, you let your fears of getting hurt in the way of understanding that he is just working to make a living for himself and your future as well." Then she went on saying "you wanted to see him, so why didn't you bring him lunch or dinner to work, it will show that not only do you understand but you are right by his side as his women." She was so right, I was annoyed because I didn't see him and letting my emotions get in the way instead of just going to see him for a few minutes bring him lunch which would of put a smile across his face. I realized that I had to stop having my moments of being scared, I have an amazing man that I prayed for God to send my way. If I keep getting upset and letting my fears get in the way I will lose him, which is the last thing I want. On Wednesday I missed him so I went to bring him dinner, I saw him for a few minutes but at the end of it all we was both satisfied.
At times we let our selfish ways and the fear of getting hurt get in the way of us being happy. Yes your heart has been broken and yes it hurts but you have to let it go. You have to remind yourself it was an experience and you needed to go through that heartbreak to grow, become a better version of yourself and to appreciate yourself even more than you did before. Trust in the love you have now, appreciate him more and more each and everyday, give him all of you, stop hiding who you are by putting your guard up because you are afraid. You deserved to be loved and you deserve to give someone the real YOU. Whoever broke your heart before, he doesn't matter. That's your past, focus on what you have now and the love you both will share in the future. Remember My Confident Dolls HE ISN'T THE ONE WHO BROKE YOUR HEART, So don't treat him like he is.
A Confident Love From Me To You
Xoxo Yanika
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