From the time that I can remember, I have always been thick, fat, chubby,plus size, whatever you want to call it. Yes, there was a time that I hated myself for not being skinny or what society think is the average size. As for today I love the person that I have become, I learned to love myself regardless of what anyone had to say. It was a journey but I am here now and I won't let anything/anyone break me down.
We all have flaws and despite being in love with who I am, I want to be a much healthier me. Each and every year, I make a commitment to lose some weight. I would stick with it for a few weeks, see results but then stop. Why do I stop? I don't know. I just get lazy and start putting off the workouts for the next day and then the next day until the next day comes to me giving up.
I want to make the change on becoming a healthier me, I get motivated to do it but then after a few weeks I just give up. I see results which is great and that should motivate me more to keep on going but I stop. I've been dealing with my weight for years, I don't mind being plus size but I know in order to live a much more longer life, I have to dedicate myself to a healthier lifestyle.
I wonder at times why I lose focus, I love fruits and vegetables, I love drinking water and I don't mind working out but there is something inside of me that tells me to stop each and every time. Everything in life that I want to succeed, I accomplish but why can't I win this fight. Why does this fight always win over me to lead me to give up? I started weight watchers, I saw results and I was dedicated but I lost my job and I needed ways to save money so I cancelled my membership. As I think about it now, I didn't have to cancel anything, I could of just stick to it and continue losing the weight that I was losing. I made an excuse and that was what I would do, make excuses after excuses and be mad at myself when I didn't succeed.
I believe that when it comes to certain things in your life, it all start with discipline. You can be motivated all that you want but if there is no discipline, how will you succeed? That's my issue, lack of discipline. Iam motivated but Iam not discipline as I should be so when I tend to give up, it's easily for me to do so.
Discipline is consistency and what you need to succeed. It is WHAT you need to stay focus on your goals. Motivation is everywhere around you and you can be motivated by anyone that is discipline accomplishing their goals. Motivation is the WHY. Find a discipline and stick to it while eliminating excuses. When you stick to a routine it will be easier for you to be discipline with it and get things done. We all make excuses but when we cancel out the excuses and focus more on our displine we will succeed.
Discipline can be challenging where we can challenge our throughts and opinions but we have to believe that at the end of it all you will see the rewards. Discipline is YOU while motivation is others/outside world. You have to imagine yourself as being discipline and expose yourself to positive messages and people that will keep you discipline as well as focused.
It's not an easy journey but I have and I will fight this battle eventually. Iam doing this for my future self, I don't want her to have any healthy problems such as diabetes, high blood pressure etc all due because I wasn't taking care of myself correctly. Small steps are still steps so Iam not going to rush to lose weight as I've been trying to do for the longest, that is another reason why I believe after awhile I give up.
For example, Iam going away next week and when I first booked my plane ticket I was determined to lose weight but truth is I wasn't determined to lose the weight for myself, I was determined to lose the weight for others since most of the people that will be on the trip with me I never met a day in my life. But it doesn't work like that, you can't accomplish anything if you're not determined for yourself.
I will go on this trip with my confident self along with what I have to give, either they love me or have something to say but either way I will be myself. Now that I know what I want and Iam discipline as well as determined to win this battle I've made some changes in my life which I've been following for the past months. I cut a lot of things out in my eating habits, I am more cautious of what I eat, I drink nothing but water ( exception of one drink a month), I try to exercise as much as I can (ex: I'll take the stairs instead of the elevators). It starts with small changes but I can do it, I will do it.
So if you're been on this battle just like I've been, we can do it and we will do it. Like I said it's not easy but with hard work, dedication, determination and discipline, you can accomplish anything you want in life. Iam determined and I know one day I will write a blog about winning my victory. So don't lose courage and don't give up. WE CAN DO IT, CONFIDENCE IS US!!
A Confident Love From Me To You
Xoxo Yanika
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