One thing is for sure being a mother, nothing goes as planned. This is why I don't make any plans anymore because I know something will come up. So since having Messiah, I just go with the flow. If I can make it, then Iam there, If not then Hey, I tried. My son comes first and being his mother that comes first as well. I had made plans for Messiah to stay with my mother while being at the event but my mother woke up not feeling too good. So what am I suppose to do now? His dad is at work, I don't have anyone else to watch him so do I just cancel showing up at the event last minute because I don't have anyone to watch my son. I quickly sent Amanda a message telling her that I have to bring him, I was nervous to what she was going to say but she said Ok! So I got up and got us ready.
I was nervous only because I knew other women would be there and they would probably have something to say but this was an event for mothers and this was my reality. Everyone understood and love that despite it all, here I am with my son. I needed to be somewhere and my son needed to be there with me. I wasn't worried about him being a wild child because I know MJ is super calm when we are out so I knew he would behave well. So I did my part of the event with him right by my side, I felt joy looking at him and felt inspired even more at that moment to do more for him to witness his mother be great.
Being a mother isn't easy but as I always tell people it is the most fulfilling and most rewarding title ever. I truly enjoy being a mother, I prayed for this moment for so long. I have my days where I breakdown because it gets tough but no matter what I keep pushing to be the best mother that I can be to Messiah. It's ok if I make mistakes, I just learned from it and move on. Everyday is a new challenge and there is always something new for you to learn. Iam still learning and still getting the hand of things of being a mother and being there for myself.
The days won't get easier but each day its worth it, Messiah is my Joy. I know you have your days as if you feel everything is going against but it's not. Don't be so hard on yourself, You're doing your best. Remind yourself that you're worth it and that you matter as well. I feel like taking some time for ourselves is very important, we need that mental break to breathe and get things in order. Our children need the best version of ourselves even on our worse day. You're doing your best, if you need to have a breakdown then do so but you're being the best mother that you know how to be and thats all that matters.
A Confident Love From ME to You
Xoxo,Yanika
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